Fairview Heights Aldermen Could Use a Good Spanking

A week ago an exclusive convention was held in the Four Points by Sheraton hotel in Fairview Heights and despite the fact the event took place quietly, and with no problems, the Fairview Heights aldermen decided it was worth everyone’s time to bitch about it anyway.

Yes, the convention was sexual in nature…”Beat Me in St. Louis”…seriously…and at least one Alderwoman is saying that this type of event shouldn’t be held in her community:

This may not be the type of event we may want to be known for,” Alderman Sandy Baldwin said. “I think of Fairview as being a place with great Midwest values. I don’t believe (holding the convention here) would fit in with most residents’ value system.

Go America! …or at least the Sandy Baldwin America!

Baldwin wants a new contract with the hotel and convention center in which the city has the right to nix booked events at their discretion and she’s placing all of this at the feet of current Fairview Heights mayor Gail Mitchell. …oh and did we mention that Baldwin is running for mayor herself, with the election next month?

Somewhere in Fairview Heights there’s a stop sign that needs discussing and a new back road that needs to be poorly named, and these jack-offs are arguing about whether a hotel should be able to book whoever it wants according the to contract in place just because some people, that probably didn’t even know the event was happening until it was over, didn’t like the subject matter. We get the distinct feeling that we could pick up a random dead body on a St. Louis street and Weekend At Bernies our way in to winning the mayoral election in Fairview Heights if these are the current choices. By throwing a suit on the guy, get some of that puppet rope arm waving action going and being the only candidate that won’t say something completely stupid we’ll have that race is in the bag by the weekend.

As mayor we’ll be tough but fair. We’d outlaw crocs, talking about the weather, and those green and white Jesus lawn signs. Feel free to have all the old gross swingers conventions you want though.

via STLToday and our lovable and loquacious tipster!