Last night in Fairview Heights a house caught fire, burning completely to the ground.
Fire destroyed a Fairview Heights home early today that the fire chief said was crammed full of possessions “from floor to ceiling.”
“The city had just ordered her out of the house, because it was totally packed from floor to ceiling with books, newspapers, clothing, a grand piano,” he said. “You name it.”
Who knew stank, despair, long forgotten cats buried in knick-knacks, and old newspapers were so dammed flammable!
Fire officials have not narrowed down the cause of the fire yet because they found a half-melted, but still functional, Hungry Hungry Hippos game in the rubble and have been playing with that pretty much solid all day. It was probably all the crap in the house though. Apparently mixing cans of New Coke with Cardinals World Series newspapers from 1982 and “Please Hammer Don’t Hurt Em” on cassette can create a makeshift bomb. That’s the same explosive recipe that Bin Laden used for a while until he ran out of New Coke and he decided to go with just crashing commercial airplanes instead. So there you go, that’s the origin of that!