Doing it Right: Guy Too Drunk to Know He’s Been Stabbed

Being too drunk is usually a problem but sometimes, particularly in St. Louis, it’s a great thing. For example, it’s the only way to get really excited about going to City Diner. It makes you completely unaware of stabbings, and not in just the Dateline Mystery “No, I don’t remember stabbing my wife…” kind of way. Police are investigating the possible stabbing of a middle-aged man after his sister noticed several lacerations on his body Saturday night. [Read More]

Guy Stabs Another Guy Downtown Over a Bag of Cheetos

Tuesday night two homeless gentlemen where arguing downtown near the convention center. They were arguing over who was going to get to eat a bag of Cheetos. Eventually one guy stabbed the other guy. So ends another regular night in St. Louis. Homicide detectives in St. Louis are investigating the incident which happened shortly before 9:00 p.m. at 6th and Washington. Officials say the knife attack started with an argument over a bag of Cheetos. [Read More]

Repeatedly Stabbing Your Mom is No Way to Win an Argument

You come home late one night and your mother is waiting for you. You’re a little drunk, but you can play it off and control yourself but screw that! You’re 44 years old and the last thing you want to do is to have this discussion about your drinking again with Mom…but you know you can’t avoid it now. The arguing starts and you’ve been down this road so often you might as well have a script, but tonight’s different. [Read More]

Guy Stabs Parents After an Argument About His Unemployment

A Jefferson County man beat and stabbed his parents after a fight about his unemployment became violent. Let that be a lesson to the rest of you parents! If your weird-looking 30-something kid with beady little eyes starts to get heated when you ask him why he can gain 70 levels in Word of Warcraft in a week, but can’t get a job at McDonalds, just let him be. At that point, poisoning his morning Doughnut Pizza might be the safer move. [Read More]

Del Taco is Gross, Don’t Take Us There or We Will Stab You

There might have been another reason in play, but if we were in a car with you and you drove us to Del Taco, we would stab you. It’s gross. Don’t care how late it is or hungry we are, we will never say yes to the fast food version of rib-jobbing a sweaty Mexican donkey ride guy. The victim told police that he and a 31-year-old white male were at the drive thru of Del Taco when they got into an argument. [Read More]

Kevin Helfrich Held the Key to a Man’s Heart New Year’s Eve

Kevin Helfrich stabbed a guy with a key in the chest. A freaking key! Sure make the whole “You have the key to my heart.” euphemism sound a little more macabre now. Kevin Helfrich, 48, is charged with aggravated battery after stabbing a man with a knife and key outside the Kountry Korner Tavern near Milstadt, Illinois. The victim suffered a collapsed lung in the altercation and is listed in stable condition. [Read More]

Military Recruiter Stabbed in Fairview Heights

Police are hunting down a guy that walked in to one of those strip mall Military Recruiter places in Fairview Heights and stabbed the sergeant when he turned his back for a moment. The recruiter had exited a back room, saw the man in the reception area and asked him if he was interested in joining the military. The recruiter then turned around in his office chair to get some paperwork, police said. [Read More]