You come home late one night and your mother is waiting for you. You’re a little drunk, but you can play it off and control yourself but screw that! You’re 44 years old and the last thing you want to do is to have this discussion about your drinking again with Mom…but you know you can’t avoid it now. The arguing starts and you’ve been down this road so often you might as well have a script, but tonight’s different. You’re not the usual drunk, you’re “stabby drunk” and the fact that this lady squeezed you out of her vag and is only trying to help doesn’t mean you won’t stab her repeatedly to make her stop. Everyone knows the best way to say “I don’t have a problem dammit!” is to stab someone. She might die, and you will probably end up in jail, but come on! She said you have a drinking problem, so what are you going to do? Not stab your mom? No, of course you’ll stab her, and then you’ll go have that last beer in the fridge you’ve had your eye on. Yup, this is going to work out great for everyone!
A southwestern Illinois woman is jailed on charges that accuse her of stabbing her 74-year-old mother during a dispute over the daughter’s drinking.
Bethalto Police Detective Sgt. Craig Welch says the women argued about [Jan] Madison’s drinking just before midnight Sunday at their home before Madison attacked the mother with a kitchen knife.
Welch says the mother’s injuries were significant but not life-threatening. She escaped and got help from neighbors.
Madison is now getting over her hang over in jail on a @200,000 bond after being charged with “armed violence and aggravated batter to a person older than 60”, which apparently is a thing.
Calls to the family’s home Tuesday went unanswered.
Well you know what KMOX? They’ve got some stuff to take care of so maybe they’re a bit busy figuring out if they should visit jail and then the hospital, or do the hospital first then jail…oh my god! After that you should swing by Hardee’s because disfunction really builds up an appetite but it’s totally rude to eat a “manly” burger meal in front of jailed or stabbed people because that’s rude and the fries would fall out through the stab holes.