Kevin Helfrich Held the Key to a Man’s Heart New Year’s Eve

Kevin Helfrich stabbed a guy with a key in the chest. A freaking key! Sure make the whole “You have the key to my heart.” euphemism sound a little more macabre now. Kevin Helfrich, 48, is charged with aggravated battery after stabbing a man with a knife and key outside the Kountry Korner Tavern near Milstadt, Illinois. The victim suffered a collapsed lung in the altercation and is listed in stable condition. [Read More]

RFT Gets Photos of Stripper Mobile

We missed it Tuesday, but our friends at the Riverfront Times acquired photos of the now infamous Strippermobile.

So that’s all? That’s not nearly as bad or awesome as we had pictured it in our minds.