St. Louis Cab Drivers are Pissed Because Convention Has Their Own Transportation

 Posted on November 2, 2011  |  The Editor

Ever try to call a cab in St. Louis? It’s a bitch. If you’re in a popular area you can grab one, but trying to get one to pick you up at a random area is nearly impossible at times, and even if they do get there, it’s usually late enough that you and you’re party are either thinking about doing something else or one guy steps up and says “Screw it, I’ll be the designated driver! [Read More]
cabs  convention 

East St. Louis Police Chief Fires Himself

 Posted on October 10, 2011  |  The Editor

Count us as extremely surprised when we heard the news that East St. Louis’ Police Chief, Ranadore Foggs, called it quits Saturday. Who the hell would have guessed that East St. Louis had a Police Chief?! Chief Foggs told Mayor Alvin Parks Jr. about his decision Saturday. Foggs said he had philosophical differences with the mayor on how the police department should be run. Foggs said his character and integrity were important to him and making the city safe was his No. [Read More]
Crime  east st. louis  mayor  police  politics 

President Barack Obama Ruined Your Drive Home, Got Yelled At, Had Pizza, Left

 Posted on October 5, 2011  |  The Editor

The President spun through our little metropolis yesterday and, as usual we’re sure, had quite a busy day. He started off by touching down at Lambert Airport at 5:35pm and was greeted by Governor Jay Nixon and Mayor Francis Slay, who both blew him until climax welcomed him to our fine city. “What the f*ck?! You still haven’t fixed this shit? Didn’t we give you money for this? Jesus.” we’re assuming the President said after leaving the airport on his way to… [Read More]
barack obama  politics  president  traffic 

Governor Nixon Wants to Let Uniformed People Cut In Line

 Posted on September 12, 2011  |  The Editor

In honor of the 10th anniversary of 9/11, Missouri Governor Jay Nixon proclaimed that you should let all people in uniform cut in front of you in line…but just like for one week. After that you and you alone will be first in line for the new issue of Jugs. Nixon has proclaimed this week as “Put the Uniform First Week” in Missouri. He says it’s intended to show respect to people who wear uniforms as police officers, firefighters, emergency responders and military personnel. [Read More]
911  jay nixon  politics 

The St. Louis Police Department Wants to Buy Some Fancy New Clothes

 Posted on September 7, 2011  |  The Editor

“Oh officer, thank god you’re here! I’ve been shot three times in the leg and the guy left about 30 minutes ago in my car but my daughter is still in the car so at least I didn’t have to deal with her while I was bleeding all over the sidew…oh now don’t you look nice!” The St. Louis Police department is dropping some change on a new set of “formal” uniforms for each officer. [Read More]
dan isom  police  politics  stlpd 

Kirkwood Lady Thinks Spending Nearly A Thousand Dollars on a Banner Made a Difference

 Posted on August 10, 2011  |  The Editor

The United States government is having a rough go of it lately and someone needed to do something! Someone needed to step up, be a leader and fill that emptiness we all seem to be carrying around these days! Who’s it going to be? Show us a sign! At about 11:30 AM on Tuesday, a plane flew by the S&P offices in New York dragging a banner behind it saying: “THANKS FOR THE DOWNGRADE. [Read More]
banner  government  kirkwood  Lucy Nobbe  morons  politics 

It’s Your Last Chance to Buy Northwest Plaza

 Posted on July 26, 2011  |  The Editor

If you told me that you have $1.5 Million to spend and really love open spaces that used to be filled with long-since empty stores and cart after cart of hair extension and bedazzled cell phone cases, then do we have the place for you! Northwest Plaza Mall and 500 Office Tower is a one- and two-story super regional mall with a 12-story office building that has 1,829,261 square feet of gross leasable area in St. [Read More]
auction  north st. louis  northwest plaza 

Springfield Congressman Billy Long Relates Debt Crisis to Amy Winehouse

 Posted on July 25, 2011  |  The Editor

The Congressman for Missouri’s 7th District, Billy Long, took to twitter earlier today to finally make the connection we’ve all been searching for: How is the government’s looming debt crisis like Amy Winehouse’s recent demise? Nailed it. Way to related to the young people, old fat guy in a cowboy hat that makes odd references to a celebrity death on the currently popular social network! Congressman Boss Hog here thought he was mighty clever after he thought this one up! [Read More]
amy winehouse  billy long  politics  social media  springfield 

Translating Police Chief Dan Isom’s Response To Citizen’s Police Complaints

 Posted on July 12, 2011  |  The Editor

Over the last weekend a piece ran in the Post Dispatch about a guy that had his laptop stolen. With the help of exactly no one, he managed to locate the thief by logging in to his computer and trick him in to typing in his name and address. The victim gave all the information to the police who did…nothing. Four days after the June 20 burglary of his Pennsylvania Avenue home, Van Almsick grew tired of waiting. [Read More]
dan isom  police  politics  theft 

Some Old Lady in St. Charles Used a Lot of Water

 Posted on July 11, 2011  |  The Editor

An old lady in St. Charles was shocked to see her water bill in April was for $2,043.78, and we’re all talking about this because nothing all that interesting is going on. Kelly, who is 80 and lives alone in her home in the 2000 block of Graystone Drive, has been disputing the accuracy of the 351,000 gallons of metered water consumption the city billed her for. Kelly sent a letter disputing the bill to the city’s public works director, Debra Aylsworth, in May and met with public works officials on June 14. [Read More]
bill  pooping  sewer  st charles  water