The United States government is having a rough go of it lately and someone needed to do something! Someone needed to step up, be a leader and fill that emptiness we all seem to be carrying around these days! Who’s it going to be? Show us a sign!
At about 11:30 AM on Tuesday, a plane flew by the S&P offices in New York dragging a banner behind it saying: “THANKS FOR THE DOWNGRADE. YOU SHOULD ALL BE FIRED.”
…anything else? No? So this is the only thing we have huh? A banner flapping behind a plane. Wow, you sure showed them what’s up! Nothing says “Take that you assholes!” like delivering your message by the same means that also utilized by guys trying to be cute with their marriage proposals.
So who was this anonymous hero that took all our pain, wrote it on a banner and tied to to the back of a plane?
After much speculation it turns out that the brainchild behind the plane that flew by the S&P office with a banner, is Lucy Nobbe, a Wedbush Securities broker and self described Midwestern “mom.”
…who lives in Kirkwood, Missouri (That’s supposedly her, to the left of who appears to be the hunter from Jumanji after he really let himself go.)
Great. Mystery solved…with the exception of a couple of questions:
- How much does something like that cost?
“I felt like I had to do something,” Nobbe, 51, explains. “I thought,” she says, “it was an important thing to do.”
So we all agree that this was a stupid, unimportant thing to do that cost too much money right? What was so damn important about it? What did this solve? What was the goal for this? Did we not all know that our government sucks? Every media outlet is wagging polls in our faces about how low approval rates are across the board, but Lucy here thought that we’d somehow all missed this news? Oh and $895?! At even $10 a meal, you could have feed nearly 100 homeless or poor people, but instead you blew it on a banner that added nothing at best and was confusing at worst as despite the initial thought that Nobbe was attacking S&P for downgrading the US government, she was actually taking a shot at the US politicians. She wanted to fly the banner over DC, but you can’t, so she just picked New York. The correct location to support your vague message is unimportant when you’ve got a thousand bucks burning a hole in your pocket!
Nobbe’s now spent the last day telling interviewer after interviewer that she wanted to remain anonymous, and absorbing more pointless back slaps than the special kid working the door at Wal-Mart. The irony that this Kirkwood woman completely wasted money on something that will make no appreciable difference on any situation, only to oppose the careless way our government uses it’s money is astounding, and yet people are propping this woman up like she cured cancer or actually has the power to “fire” anyone in the government. Insane! All the while, not a single person has congratulated us on our ability to revive many of dead homeless guys every morning by simply whipping it out and peeing on them. Most of them come back to life and start calling me “f*cking Jesus Christ!” which is of course flattering. We’re not the hero you think we are guys, people that spend money to do little more than walking around with an custom iron-on t-shirt design, those are the real heros.
via Business Insider and STLToday (and our tipster, who is so cool we’d like to send a plane over their house with a banner than reads: “Thanks for the tip! You’re….” followed by a second plane with a banner that said “…cool.” Two planes! Take that Kirkwood lady!)