Rush Limbaugh is Going to be in the Hall of Famous Missourians

We usually hate talking about the “obvious” news stories, but this one we had to chime in on. Everyone was all aflutter after the news broke that conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh is being admitted in to the “Hall of Famous Missourians”. Of course the news leaked on the sculptor’s blog almost a month ago, but lately Rush went and called a bunch of non-slutty women sluts which it turn caused a bunch of people to remember that Rush Limbaugh still exists, and craziness ensued. [Read More]

Mountain Grove Might Get a Horse Slaughter House No Matter How Many ‘My Little Ponies’ You Owned as a Kid

KDSK: Where the news comes first! …unless you think an interview about how one lady doesn’t like someone else’s business because it kills the one animal she likes isn’t news. Then just hang tight because after this there’s a few stories about people getting shot and then a long talk about the weather, followed by anchor banter and sports. Horse meat to eat? Sound unlikely? It could soon be a possibility, as the developers of a horse slaughter plant have set their sights on Missouri. [Read More]

The New Emerald Van Has Been Released

The Hazelwood headquartered Emerald Automotive has released an working version of their new low emissions van and if the tests go well, it will mean jobs for the St. Louis region. “I am delighted to see the vehicles in action,” said Emerald Automotive CEO Andy Tempest. “Full credit must be given to our engineering team and technical partners who have worked tirelessly over the past 18 months to meet all our demanding cost, design and milestone targets. [Read More]

Are County Leaders Shipping Their Homeless to the City? (Probably.)

City leaders are complaining that the various area counties are actively shipping their homeless in to the city to live in group camps like the infamous “Hopeville” encampment. Of course by “shipping” we mean driving them in a car in to the city and then telling them to get out, but it’s way more funny if you think of it like the county is setting homeless guy traps filled with homeless guy treats like beard combs and flanel jackets only to shake them out of their cages, releasing them in the wilds of south city and downtown. [Read More]

The New Arch Grounds Plan Reminds Us of Something Dirty

The plans for the new Arch grounds are starting to take shape by the releasing of design photos, and explanations about how the new work will change the downtown layout. NextSTL has it covered: Not a single local media story, not KSDK, not St. Louis Public Radio, not the Post-Dispatch, not the Beacon, no one included the detail that if the presented plan comes to fruition that Pine Street will no longer connect the city with the Arch grounds. [Read More]

Missouri Governor Hopeful Dave Spence Smartly Tried to Hide Home Economics Major

Dave Spence is a Missouri businessman trying to make a run at the Governor’s office, leaning on the slogan “A Conservative for Missouri” which is brillant because we really don’t have many of those around here and he would really be a shock to those liberal hippies that usually the Missouri state government. Regardless, his plan might have worked had he managed to successfully hide his true college major behind his cloak of “important word dropping”. [Read More]

The Brooklyn, Illinois Mayor is a Total Dick

While the Brooklyn, Illinois fire department were called away to an fire-related emergency, the mayor had the firehouse locks changed. All this, a bunch of douche bags in close up black and white bumpers and Ashton Kutcher’s own prank about banging a bunch of sluts while married to Demi Moore on the next super-f*cked up episode of Punk’d! The drama started Thursday evening when the chief says a local commissioner called him saying the mayor changed the locks at the department. [Read More]

Have You Heard the One Where the Occupiers Met With the Mayor’s Staff?

So Mayor Slay’s staff walk in to a room in the Edward Jones Dome with a few people from the Occupy St. Louis movement currently inhabiting downtown… Stop us if you’ve heard this one. The initial debate was between the Mayor’s Chief of Staff Jeff Rainford, and a guy that only went by “Chuck”…naturally. “We ask that you condemn the police violence in Oakland and retract any threats or insinuations of violence against us and the accusation that we are inciting violence,” Chuck said. [Read More]

The Cabbies Respond to Us Making Fun of Them

Last week we took some shots at the local cabbies for “whining” about a convention using other transportation rather than cabs. “What do you mean non-cab drivers have figured out how to get their own cars?! Oh no! Someone, quick, talk to the press and make sure they photograph you in the creepiest way possible!” As with every post we do, it was a joke and all the real details are gleaned form the source material, which in this case was KMOX. [Read More]