Former St. Louis Cop Makes His Entry to the Horrible St. Louis Music Video Contest
What is in the water around here these days that makes every little weird dude think he can be a rapper?! I really didn’t think drinking a little homeless guy urine had this effect on people…maybe there is something else in the water.
The latest entry in to the “That’s pretty bad, but I can make a worse St. Louis rap video” contest that seemingly sprung up out of nowhere is from “Tak”, a former cop that bravely took a bullet drunkenly took a bullet (more on this follow up), quit being a cop…and then started a rap career. We really want to be there when they finally dislodge that bullet chunk that floated to his brain and he wakes up wondering what the hell he is wearing and why people keep calling him “Tak”. In the mean time, lets dissect his video!
“Stand Tall” is what you get if you mix slow spoken rap with drunken Tom Petty karaoke, a cheap video camera and St. Charles County wanna-be-ghetto fashion. One could say the video is a bit “Tak-y”. Zing!
Possibly in an effort to distract you to the fact that the song is approximately 79% chorus, the video tries its damnedest to use symbolism and Hollywood trickery to get you to like it. Notice the use of “Please Point a Camera At Me, I Don’t Care the Reason” skanks:
Gotta be weird for her to not be shot in night vision.
[Editor’s Note: Click through the jump to see the rest of the video review and, of course, the actual video!]
The Worst Music Video Ever Was Shot in a St. Louis Condo’s Kitchen
“So St. Louis” is a music video making the rounds by Corle. In case you were wondering, the song is about being “so St. Louis”, and though it might just be a serious attempt to make an hit music video, it’s far better to view under the “lame tourism video” filter. (like this one for Cleveland)
“I could just say St. Louis over and over again, that would be cool.”
“I would turn your flat-billed hat a little sideways…”
“Well god Carl, of course I’m going to turn my hat a little sideways, I…”
“…ok! Well I think that’s all you need.”
“No, it needs something more. Something really obvious.”
“More obvious than saying ‘St. Louis’ over and over?”
“Yeah…wait! What if I stand in front of every building in the greater St. Louis area!”
“Bingo.”
Now as we all know, the most crucial scene in a rap video is the party scene. Every rapper spends roughly 92% of his time at fabulous parties, so showing one of them in a video is crucial as proof to the fact of your awesome rappines. This dude did his in some condo kitchen. It’s not bad though, I think I saw a sexy lady over to the left by the hot plate:
Ok ok ok. We’ll give the guy a break he did at least manage to get the Sir-Mix-A-Lot booty shot in there, so points for that:
…but if we are going to give him points for that, we will have to deduct for “making it rain” with singles:
That really seems more like “making it drizzle”.
Click through the jump to watch the whole video and see if he shot any of it in front of your house!
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The Blues City Deli Anniversary Party
Punching Kitty grabbed the camera and followed the brewery smell to Benton Park and the Blues City Deli’s street festival.
It was packed and a good time seemed to be had by all! Check out the video we put together below of some of the photos.