Here’s a Horrible Idea: Lets Go Try to Convert Kids to Our Religion Because We’re Assholes!

 Posted on March 9, 2012  |  The Editor

A Ballwin Islamic school, serving roughly 300 kindergarten through 8th graders, has been forced to give kids the day off today because a local group of adults has decided they’d like to interrupt the education of other people’s kids so they they can try and convert them to Christianity. An Islamic school has canceled classes for Friday after parents and faculty expressed concern about a Christian group gathering outside the school to distribute religious materials. [Read More]
assholes  religion 

Two St. Charles Kids Were Raised in Stinky House Filled With Lizards Snakes and Rats

 Posted on March 5, 2012  |  The Editor

Family Services dropped the hammer on a St. Charles family who were found to have 1 dog, 157 snakes and lizards, roughly 2,000 mice and rats, and 2 children living in their home. Clearly that ratio is all off. You’d have to at least have 500 kids in there before that was an appropriate amount of lizards and rats. The home, in the first block of Oak Bend Lane, off Laura Hill Road, was in “extremely filthy condition,” according to court documents, and one deputy who went inside was so overcome by the stench he ran outside to throw up. [Read More]
animals  Health  st. charles county 

The ‘End Eminent Domain’ Sign Can Stay, But Lets Change It Because We Have Some Sweet Ideas!

 Posted on February 24, 2012  |  The Editor

The “End Eminent Domain” mural isn’t going anywhere. The sign, which is visible from I-44, has been on the side of an apartment building for years now, but just finally got the right to stay after the man who commissioned it, Jim Roos, won his final appeal against the city Tuesday when the U.S. Supreme Court declined to review the case. We’d like to think the Supreme Court justices read the case and said something to the effect of “Seriously? [Read More]
eminent domain  mural  sign 

Ferguson Woman Somehow Causes Accident While Falling Asleep in Drive Through

 Posted on February 23, 2012  |  The Editor

You’d think a McDonald’s is a fairly safe location baring the heart disease and the constant stream of customers that are unaware of their girth and the damage a butt cheek of that size can cause, but as the Ferguson McDonalds learned yesterday morning, you should add “dumb ass falling asleep in the drive through” to the list too. According to reports, the accident happened around 4:20 a.m. in the 9100 block of West Florissant Avenue in Ferguson, Missouri. [Read More]
ferguson  mcdonalds 

County Problems: Not So Automatic, Automatic Doors

 Posted on February 7, 2012  |  The Editor

[Editor’s Note: For context, this was part of our impromptu “Animated GIF Week“] Sure there’s some bigotry out there, like how they hate the gay marriages, and how everyone who’s skin is equal to or darker than the cast Jersey Shores gets a constant stink eye, but if you’re white and straight, life is nearly flawless if you’re living out in the County. We did say nearly though. There’s always a fly in that ointment of glory, like when you have to park in the driveway and walk all the way up the slight incline to get in the house. [Read More]
garage door  gif week  problems  st. charles county 

Guy Claims He Was Car Jacked on Highway K, Police Immediately Call Him a Liar

 Posted on February 2, 2012  |  The Editor

An O’Fallon man is facing charges that include filing a false police report and leaving the scene of an accident, all because he’s a big pussy who’s afraid of his wife. The accident happened Tuesday night near the intersection of Weldon Spring and Highway K, just outside the O’Fallon, Missouri city limits. St. Charles County Sheriff’s Deputies said the man wrecked his car and then reported that he had been carjacked. [Read More]
morons  ofallon  st. charles county 

KMOV Keeps Us All Updated on What Passes For News in Wildwood

 Posted on January 26, 2012  |  The Editor

A teenage girl sneaks her boyfriend in to her house only to be caught by her mom the next day! We’ll tell you about that unbelievable, totally newsworthy item, plus 21 minutes devoted to weather and a five min sportscast consisting of “Remember a little while ago when the Cardinals won the World Series? …that was awesome.” all coming up next on KMOV Channel 4 News! News 4 Never Stops Watching Out For You…but today watching out for you was crazy boring. [Read More]
kmov  wildwood 

Wentzville Church Trivia Night Ends With Accidental Shooting

 Posted on January 23, 2012  |  The Editor

A man was shot in Wentzville’s St. Patrick’s church over the weekend and the police are ruling it as an accident, which is just so St. Charles County. Sure people get shot out there too, just like in the city, but out there it’s always “My bad! Junior’s still a learnin’ about the safety! He’ll master it by age 5 like his daddy!” rather than a 45 year old prostitute gunning down some crackhead trying to steal her stash. [Read More]
church  shooting  st. charles county  wentzville 

Flow Chart Friday: Should I Shoot That Guy Over There?

 Posted on January 6, 2012  |  The Editor

It’s a question that pops in to the heads of many a St. Louis area resident: “Should I should that guy over there?” It’s not always an easy question, so going forward, use this handy flow chart to decide. The original version had a part where it asked if you were from a drug-addled neighborhood in North City, and if so, proceed directly to “Shoot him!” but we took it out because if people from drug-addled neighborhoods in North City can’t read, so there’s really no point. [Read More]
flow chart  shooting