You’d think a McDonald’s is a fairly safe location baring the heart disease and the constant stream of customers that are unaware of their girth and the damage a butt cheek of that size can cause, but as the Ferguson McDonalds learned yesterday morning, you should add “dumb ass falling asleep in the drive through” to the list too.
According to reports, the accident happened around 4:20 a.m. in the 9100 block of West Florissant Avenue in Ferguson, Missouri.
Authorities determined the driver was in the drive-thru lane of a McDonald’s restaurant when she fell asleep. She unknowingly hit the accelerator and sped out into the roadway. She crossed four lanes of traffic, hopped a curb, careened through a parking lot and slammed into the front of another restaurant.
She sure was sleepy, but this is especially impressive as most people don’t go in to a coma until after they eat their McDonald’s breakfast. Maybe she was in a hurry to get off to an early Ash Wednesday mass or maybe she dozed off just enough that her subconscious thought she had already eaten the McTurdBomb and was trying to get a head start on the nearest bathroom line. Regardless of the reason, the woman was arrested on the scene, not for the sleepy-time driving adventure, but for her outstanding warrants. Which is probably the first time in a while the word “outstanding” has been anywhere near this sleepy moron in a sentence and that’s her silver lining! There’s always a silver lining! Like the time we were at the Ferguson McDonald’s drive through early one morning, which sucked, but the lady in front of us fell asleep so we pushed her in to traffic and she ended up crashing in to a Chop Suey place across the street. We ate our hash browns outside to watch the fun that morning because sirens and police lights are awesome!