We Gave Mayor Slay His Own Meme!

 Posted on July 8, 2011  |  The Editor

If you’re on the internet, you know about the recent surge of photo memes. For example, there’s Philosoraptor, Hipster Kitty, Scumbag Steve, Socially Awkward Penguin, Business Cat, and Technologically Impaired Duck just to name some of the better ones. …but now…we present to you…the beginning of the “Mayor Slay” meme! He’s a nice-guy mayor awkwardly leading a city further in to crappiness, so these pretty much write themselves…except for the ones we did, those took amazing comedic skill. [Read More]
mayor slay  meme  politics 

Pujols Contract Season: Totally Going Just Like They Planned It!

 Posted on June 21, 2011  |  The Editor

Just six months ago everything was coming up Pujols. He was getting offered the big money for his next contract, and he was turing it down for bigger money. His agent, Dan Lozano, was out there telling his client “Hell yeah you should go in to your walk-year without a contract! Think of the money we could be offered on the open market! We’re talking huge money Al! The only thing that could go bad is that you have a bad season, but lucky for us you’ve never had a bad season! [Read More]
albert pujols  baseball  cardinals 

The Missouri State Senators Are Tone Deaf Buttholes

 Posted on May 12, 2011  |  The Editor

St. Louis is in the midst of a bit of a crime issue…by which we mean there are areas that people feel kinda safe dotted throughout areas where no one should ever go ever. The Mayor’s office and the police force only seem able to fill their time complaining about every issue other than actually getting out there and putting a stop to this, while a mass of other politicians and residents like to pretend that everything’s going great while the population of the city continues to dive. [Read More]
conceal and carry  local police control  politics  state senate 

If You Pay For the Zoo, Then Take Some Cheap Parking

 Posted on May 11, 2011  |  The Editor

A proposal has been laid out that would give discounts on things like parking or admission at the city’s major tax-funded attractions to city residents. For instance, the Zoo would offer discounted parking to all city residents…except for those that live close enough to walk, who get nothing we guess. Maybe we can give them a balloon with a zebra on it or something? Gloria Wessels recently suggested that four of the five institutions funded by the zoo-museum district offer discounts on parking, concessions and special exhibits to visitors who live in the taxing district. [Read More]
city  museum  taxes  zoo 

Gas is Expensive

 Posted on May 6, 2011  |  The Editor

As of right now, the price of gas is right around $4 a gallon in St. Louis. Area owners of giant trucks or SUVs are currently torn between hatin’ that dang Obama because of the gas prices, but still loving the fact he killed that dang Osama. Poor fellers, that sure is a lot of of “danging” and like-sounding names. The following things are now no longer driving for because they were barely worth it with gas was only $3 a gallon: [Read More]
gas  money 

Jailed State Senator Jeff Smith Tells Us What a “Prison Wallet” Is

 Posted on April 15, 2011  |  The Editor

(Photo: Jeff Smith, right, with one of the guys he met in prison I guess…wait, no. It’s Bill Streeter.) Jeff Smith, the Missouri state senator who was jailed last year after being found that he lied to the feds during questioning about a conspiracy with Voters for Truth to run negative ads against opponent Russ Carnahan, has written a little piece about his time in the clink and in it he answers questions like “What does ‘get chalked’ mean? [Read More]
jeff smith  politics  prison 

Foodbank Tries to Trick You in to Being Charitable While Working Out

 Posted on April 14, 2011  |  The Editor

Nice try St. Louis Area Foodbank. Here’s where you messed up in your little trick to get people to be charitable by saying lifting canned goods are working out: We don’t want to do either of those things! In. Your. Face. The organization also aims to demonstrate the physical benefits of volunteering at nonprofit organizations throughout St. Louis and is encouraging people to sign up for the “Pound for Pound Challenge,” a free online weight loss program that raises money for Feeding America. [Read More]
charity  foodbank  Health  work out 

Tony LaRussa and Ray Vinson’s Awkward Handshake Will Forever Haunt Our Dreams

 Posted on April 14, 2011  |  The Editor

UVerse must have accidentally let a Cardinal game through because last night we sat down and actually got to watch the Cardinals hammer the Diamondbacks. It had been a few days since we last watched a Cardinal game, so as we blissfully drank in the offensive displays that usually bore us and watched Lance Berkman’s grand slam shot float over the wall of Chase Field we had all but forgotten the thing that would later ruin the game for us. [Read More]
commercial  ray vinson  tony larussa 

Lady Sues City Over Trash Charge

 Posted on April 8, 2011  |  The Editor

Annie Cooper is 70 and when you make it to that age, it is your job to shit on everyone that hasn’t made it there by being as grumpy and annoying as possible, always finding a way to make every little thing in to a slight against you personally. That’s gotta be a great feeling, and we can’t wait until we graduate to that lofty position. Back to Annie though, she’s mad because the city is charging her $11/month more for trash pickup and the addition of recycling dumpsters. [Read More]
lawsuit  recycle  trash 

State Auditor: University City is Run By Morons

 Posted on April 8, 2011  |  The Editor

According to the Missouri State Auditor, University City is run by a bunch of raving idiots that probably can’t even wipe their asses correctly, but he can’t verify that since it’s technically outside of the State Auditor’s prescribed duties. Missouri State Auditor Tom Schweich released an audit Thursday highly critical of how University City operates and spends tax payer dollars. …the city has 3,373 delinquent trash accounts costing the city $1. [Read More]
budget  government  morons  university city