State Auditor: University City is Run By Morons

According to the Missouri State Auditor, University City is run by a bunch of raving idiots that probably can’t even wipe their asses correctly, but he can’t verify that since it’s technically outside of the State Auditor’s prescribed duties.

Missouri State Auditor Tom Schweich released an audit Thursday highly critical of how University City operates and spends tax payer dollars.

…the city has 3,373 delinquent trash accounts costing the city $1.6 million. The city paid $97,000 in severance to its former city manager, but had the termination date been just eight days later, the city would have saved $28,000.

The auditor saved the “best” one for last actually:

The most egregious act according to the auditor was the city paying $146,000, to settle a discrimination case, instead of only paying $15,000 deductible. The cost difference is because the city failed to notify its insurance company promptly. That mistake cost tax payers $131,000.

“If I had done that in the private sector it could be legal malpractice. I could be sued for that. It is not appropriate. You are required to know what your contract is with your insurance company,”

…so basically the people that the people of University City voted in to office are stupid, or least just don’t seem to give two shits, and they appointed others with the same deficiencies to make the problem worse. Suddenly that announced plan to start charging people to park in the city-owned lots in the Delmar Loop is coming in to focus. Remember how we all said how stupid that idea was and we were all like “Jesus, are these guy’s stupid?” Confirmed!

Can’t we just lock these retards in the basement for a while with some trapped fireflies in a big jar to keep them busy while Joe Edwards spends two weeks…eh…lets give him three…to clean this mess in University City up? If that’s not a viable option, then the future of University City doesn’t look very bright. A year from now the children of U City will start to go shirtless and stop caring when they have flies all over their faces, followed by benefit concerts with new Rage Against the Machine songs written about the plight of the oppressed U City residents. That old white bearded guy in his denim shirt will walk down Delmar pointing out how you can save a University City kid for just the price of a cup of coffee causing you to feel bad and change the channel. You know, all the stuff we would be doing for North City now if there was anything of value up there. Be a shame to lose Blueberry Hill. Where would be prop up Chuck Berry once a month?!

via KSDK