morons

St. Charles County Ambulance Board Members Know How to Party

Posted on July 31, 2009 | The Editor

Dan McLaughlin (right) is quite the St. Charles County Ambulance Board Member. For one, he shares the name of the Cardinals TV broadcaster. For two, he looks like Jack Nicholson’s love child with Eddie Munster. For three, this one time he got drunk and drove around in his car. For four, this other time he got drunk and drove around in his car. For five, this other other time, he got drunk and drove around in his car. [Read More]

Rants and Raves: Hey Douche

Posted on July 21, 2009 | The Editor

I think my favorite Craigslist crazies are the ones that come with the thunder, the hard-hitting non-specific thunder: hey douche (o’fallon) did the lying slut tell you that she slept w/ Tyler, the student worker??? forgot all about that when we were “talking” Did this make you feel better man? What did this do for you? At least give us some descriptors! Do we all know her? Is she on TV? [Read More]

craigslist morons rants and raves

Crazy Looking White Guy Does Crazy Stuff on the Phone

Posted on July 21, 2009 | The Editor

An Ohio man, Charles Papenfus, got a little pissed off at a St. Louis based telemarketer and he got arrested for it. I know what you are thinking, “We’ve all been there! Sure the guy probably got pretty angry, but damn I hate those telemarketers! Rabble!” …well I’d hold off before jumping on Milton’s side here: (emphasis mine) According to court documents, Charles W. Papenfus, 43, allegedly told a sales representative during a May 18 telephone call that he would burn down the building and kill the employees and their families. [Read More]

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The Cancer Project Says Hot Dogs Cause Cancer, Tasty Tasty Cancer

Posted on July 2, 2009 | The Editor

Brace yourselves. A group that calls themselves “The Cancer Project” has decided that they haven’t been in the news enough for their liking, so they are declaring that hot dogs cause cancer. Everything causes cancer, and everyone knows it. This is way to generic to be anything but link-bait bullshit. “Hot Dogs”? If you want people to believe your lie, try to be a little more specific. For instance, if you were to tell me that neon green relish they put on Chicago-style hot dogs causes cancer, well thats something I could buy in to, but “hot dogs? [Read More]

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Beauty is in the Eye of the Crazy Letter-Writing Beholder

Posted on June 30, 2009 | The Editor

Oh Post Dispatch Letters to the Editor, how I love you. Every time a little bit of civic pride and love for my fair city starts to creep in to my heart, there you are, displaying the crack pottiest letters from only the most sad individuals that think writing to their local newspaper still means something. Take John Bell. He hates the new Citygarden. It looks like this: We think John Bell probably looks like this: [Read More]

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Post Dispatch Uncovers Towing Scandal During Mardi Gras

Posted on February 17, 2009 | The Editor

Over the past eight months, the Post-Dispatch has revealed controversial ties between the police department and St. Louis Metropolitan Towing: perks given to the police chief’s daughter, questionable tactics used to gouge vehicle owners and hundreds of thousands of dollars the company kept from taxpayers. But the relationship proved most lucrative during one day each year: Mardi Gras’ major parade day. That was from the article in the Post Dispatch about the apparently many-layered scheme that originated from recently ousted Police Chief Joe “I keep looking dirtier every day” Mokwa. [Read More]

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Another Moron Crashes in to Someone’s House

Posted on February 17, 2009 | The Editor

Is it just us that seems like way too many accidents happen where someone drives in to the side of someone’s freaking house? Its one thing to take out a mailbox or whatever, but it seems like at least once or twice a year some retard drives in to someone’s freaking house…right in the the freaking side of it…like what happened yesterday as reported (kinda, I mean there was nothing really about it on the page at the time of this writing) by KSDK. [Read More]

accident car house morons

Craigslist: In South County Treadmill Means Oven

Posted on February 16, 2009 | The Editor

Sent in by one of our faithful and sexy readers via our tip-line (tips[at]punchingkitty[dot]com), a south county resident is selling his 1.25 horsepower with five incline positions “treadmill.” See the ad here. For the first time, one of our Craigslist posts deserved a screenshot: If you decide to purchase this lovely piece of machinery for $25 bucks, a little tip: When I bake, I like to keep my oven treadmill on incline level 2. [Read More]

craigslist morons oven treadmill

CraigsList: This One’s Not About Love

Posted on February 13, 2009 | The Editor

Its about road rage! Driving Down 70 – 22 (lsl) [link] I was in silver car…YOU trying to race your pathetic excuse for a car….NEXT TIME PLEASE MOVE….Seriously You had to see that you were making a fool of yourself… SO Next time just save me the trouble of having to go around you and make you look like a dumbass when you almost rear-ended another car… Cause you were to busy looking at me . [Read More]

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Carol Thinks the Post Dispatch Jumped the Shark, and SuperDave Concurs

Posted on February 3, 2009 | The Editor

I’m not 100% sure that Carol knows what “Jumped the Shark” means, but I am sure she must lead a sad little life to have this bug her so much. From STLToday’s Letters to the Editor blog: I think the St. Louis Post-Dispatch has finally jumped the shark. I knew they were biased against Republicans, but to not have put Michael Steele’s picture on the front of Saturday’s newspaper was a major gaffe that spoke volumes. [Read More]

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