The Cancer Project Says Hot Dogs Cause Cancer, Tasty Tasty Cancer

Brace yourselves.  A group that calls themselves “The Cancer Project” has decided that they haven’t been in the news enough for their liking, so they are declaring that hot dogs cause cancer.

  1. Everything causes cancer, and everyone knows it.

  2. This is way to generic to be anything but link-bait bullshit.  “Hot Dogs”?  If you want people to believe your lie, try to be a little more specific.  For instance, if you were to tell me that neon green relish they put on Chicago-style hot dogs causes cancer, well thats something I could buy in to, but “hot dogs?”  Its like saying pizza causes cancer.

It gets better though, because The Cancer Project wants hot dogs to carry a warning!

The group wants the Cardinals to put warning labels at the concession stands, informing people the risks in eating hotdogs.

“It’s our mission to educate them on the risks in eating these foods that they’ve been consuming,” said project spokesperson Krista Haynes.

The Cancer Project [also] sent a letter to the commissioner of baseball to post the warning at all major league ballparks.

…oh and there is also a billboard…a freaking billboard! (See above photo.  You thought I photoshopped that didn’t you! Nope.  Real.)

“This is basically for people coming in for the All-Star Game, warning them that processed meats, like hot dogs, have been linked to an increased risk for certain cancers,” Haynes said.

You can read the full story over at KSDK.com, where they interview an actual intelligent medical professional who shockingly disagrees with The Cancer Project.

In a related story, fun causes brain tumors says the local Ugly, Stupid and Sad People Advisory Board.