Whatcha Spanking There Ryan Dean?

Our local NBC affiliate, KSDK channel 5, managed to make some noise on the national scene, but not the good “wow, what great reporting” kinda noise. More like Jimmy Kimmel laughing at you along with his national audience. You know how we always say how much we hate all those live, “on the scene”, remotes that add no benefit to the broadcast? This one turned out to be worth it. [Read More]

That’s Probably Not Fog Around the Weather Man’s House

This is going to be a shocker to a lot of you, but despite our chiseled good looks, amazing arms and a “turn and look, with hair flip” move so perfect it acts like a magnifying glass that focuses our hot rays of sexy in to a beam that instantly ignites the panties of whatever super-model we’ve decided to split open with our ” little lightsaber” to keep warm in that day, we didn’t always run with the “in crowd” back in high school. [Read More]

Some Old Fart Doesn’t Like Changing His Clock Twice a Year

Oh KSDK’s “I’m Just Saying” you truly are the gift that keeps giving…like that dog you never wanted, but is still year long after you figured everyone was pretty tired of it and it keeps crapping all over your house. I know you’re dying to know what the big compliant is this time: Kids won’t stay off your lawn? That damn rap music? How no one got piercing back in the day? [Read More]

There’s Not a Lot to Say About Nick Punto

KSDK felt it necessary to post up a story about the new Cardinals reserve middle infielder Nick Punto having a groin injury, needing surgery and not being able to play until May, but they just didn’t want to elaborate much. Well there it is isn’t it? I just pretty much did the same thing they did…but better! Their story was all of 40 words long and our summary above came in at 22! [Read More]

Albert Pujols Invalidates Your Death

In the screen grab included below of KSDK.com’s home page, you see that Albert Pujols has managed to triumph over death! Four mentions of the Pujols contract dominate the home page, while 3 other stories about crime and death sink to the bottom like the boring crap news they are. Oh you died today and you want people to recognize it or something? Should have thought about that before you up and died on “contract deadline day”! [Read More]

Rapper Pissed ESPN Used His Song No One’s Heard of on Their National Broadcast

First, before we get to the meat of this little ordeal, we want you to know that KSDK brought us this story from Frank Wiley reporting live from downtown St. Louis last night. Why? No clue. None of this had anything to do with downtown St. Louis. Maybe Frank had to smoke or fart or something so he took his work outside. It added nothing to the story of a local rapper suing ESPN, but maybe if you hit your head really really hard or take a day and drink nothing by antifreeze it might make more sense. [Read More]

Local News Confirms Their Weather Delusion to Gail Pennington

A lot of you wrote in to us with the same sentiment: “Do we really need around the clock local news coverage about the ‘storm of the century’”? Apparently the general St. Louis audience, or at least our readers, thought that if they had to be stuck at home, then they could at least watch some TV. Ha! Nice try St. Louis, but local news won’t let that happen. Not on their watch. [Read More]

Local News Boner Alert: A New Year’s Eve State of Emergency

“It could have been worse.” — Sunset Hills mayor Bill Nolan A state of emergency was declared on New Years Eve by Missouri Governor Jay Nixon after a strong storm rushed across center and eastern Missouri, taking apart chunks of South St. Louis County and killing one person in Rolla. Afterward, emergency crews cleaned up the mess, a few people found new shelter for the night and the local news networks patted themselves on the back and found ways to stay on the air as long as possible. [Read More]

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU KSDK!

If St. Louisans start to get the feeling that KSDK (NBC affiliate, Channel 5) only serves up national TV just so they can build up confindence that sitcoms and sporting events will air in St. Louis so they can later arbitrarily remove it, pooping all over your TV watching plans to make you hate life we wouldn’t blame you. The last few years KSDK has become infamous for ruining people’s Sunday afternoon or evenings by yanking things like NBC Sports coverage or popular sitcoms in lieu of stupid local programming that they needed to sell ads on to make budget. [Read More]