PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Editor’s Note: Make sure you play this video in the background while you read this.

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive. To the right are some of our favorite and most acclaimed articles from our four year run. You may also enjoy “This Day in PK History” which shows the posts written on this date in years past, and this page which shows a random article from the archives.

- The Editor

“Free” Bathroom Trash Sold on Craigslist for $150

St. Louis Craigslist, you never stop dropping little joy pellets. Little tiny joy turds, and just like turds, they are something to occasionally gawk and marvel at, but that’s about as close as you’re willing to get. Take the recent example of someone giving away their bathroom trash. Let that sink in for a second. Now take another second to let the fact that this free bathroom trash they are giving away, is priced at $150. [Read More]

Mayor Slay Proves He’s Horrible at Sports Betting

We kinda accidentally, sorta took a day off last night when we didn’t write anything. That’s OK though, because our friends at Joe Sports Fan picked us up and took care of the important stuff: Making fun of Mayor Slay. Apparently Mayor Slay, in addition to the rest of the things he’s horrible at like “being a mayor”, is also horrible at making and going through with small pointless bets. Joe Sports Fan has the whole rundown, but in short: He won’t go to any trouble other than taking a picture of his TV when he loses, and won’t spring for better shipping when he actually wins the bet. [Read More]

The Cardinals Choked

Not much to say about a three games as shitty as that, which is good, because we sure the hell don’t feel like writing much about it. There’s no question the Cardinals choked this one away with their horrible…well, everything. The question is: Where does this sit in the pantheon of all time Cardinal chokes? We asked. You answered. The consensus? This was horrible. Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to go shave this playoff beard. [Read More]

Springfield Pastor Gives Surprising Equality Speech

This clip was everywhere over the weekend, but it’s pretty great and happened in Springfield: The clip shows a Springfield paster standing up at a city council meeting to discuss the city’s modification of the nondiscrimination ordinance to include sexual orientation and gender identity. Don’t get too excited. It’s still Missouri, so this great speech didn’t matter because Springfield’s council “tabled” the bill because they are pussies. via everywhere, but we saw it on Gawker first. [Read More]

St. Louis: Where Bank Robbers Yell “Go Cards!”

Arnold police are still looking for the bank robber who exclaimed “Go Cards!” on his way out the door with the cash. Welcome to St. Louis. This is what we do: break laws and watch baseball. Police say the man entered the First Bank at 3850 Jeffco Boulevard, approached the teller and presented a note demanding money around 1:15 p.m. Friday. After taking an undisclosed amount of money, the man reportedly yelled, “Go Cards! [Read More]

Old Timey Gossip Columnist Jerry Berger Accused of Sexual Misconduct

Jerry Berger’s been around for forever, talkin’ that old timey gossip around these parts. Stuff like this… Super Bowl XLVII, the biggest concert gig in the world, will feature Beyonce on Feb. 3 at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans. Madonna performed in last year’s halftime show. Huge news! Can’t get that anywhere else but BergersBeat.com! …and… The Shane Co. jewelers is eyeing the old Flotken’s Market space on the north side of Olive Boulevard just east of Warson Road in Olivette. [Read More]

Ozzie Smith is Selling His Gold Gloves

As reported yesterday by ESPN, the Hall of Fame former Cardinal shortstop Ozzie Smith will be selling a large chunk of his MLB hardware via the SCP Actions company. The list of items includes: All 13 of his Gold Gloves, 11 All-Star Game rings, and most notably, his Cardinal National League championship rings from 1985 and 2004, and the Cardinal World Series rings he was given by the team after the 2006 and 2011 championships. [Read More]

Are the St. Louis Zoo’s Halloween Decorations Racist?

The St. Louis Zoo put up their Halloween decorations a few days ago and man did they screw up. It turns out the Zoo outed itself as a secret racist organization! We knew it. It always seemed fishy that the black panthers were always in the crappy cage in the back corner, the one with a busted-ass car in it for some reason, but the white tiger had like the best cage ever right up front. [Read More]

Some Loose Sex-Loving TV Skank Endorsed Todd Akin

Todd Akin got a new endorsement the other day, but don’t worry about it. She doesn’t live in this state, and she’s just some reality TV show broad that can’t keep her legs closed. Michelle Duggar plans to participate in a women-for-Akin event Tuesday in Springfield. The Duggar family is supposed to attend rallies with Akin later that day in Osage Beach and on Wednesday in Farmington and Poplar Bluff. [Read More]

Once Again in the Absence of Anything to Talk About, Local News Points the Camera at Grass

What do local news reporters turn to when they need a story, but nothing’s going on in our fair city? Time and time again, they turn to grass. No, that’s not even being used as a term for marijuana…the horrible truth is we’re actually talking about grass. A news story about grass. Seriously. Again. You local news people are horrible. Can’t imagine why everyone but old and retarded people think your broadcasts suck. [Read More]