Arnold police are still looking for the bank robber who exclaimed “Go Cards!” on his way out the door with the cash. Welcome to St. Louis. This is what we do: break laws and watch baseball.
Police say the man entered the First Bank at 3850 Jeffco Boulevard, approached the teller and presented a note demanding money around 1:15 p.m. Friday.
After taking an undisclosed amount of money, the man reportedly yelled, “Go Cards!” and left the bank.
Police describe the suspect as a 5’7″ white male in his late 30s wearing glasses, a full beard and a dark blazer over a black top.
Not wearing red during your bank heist?! Some fan you are. He’s probably one of these “huge fan only when the Cardinals get in the playoffs” guys. The same horrible people that when a real fan is rightfully mother-f*cking the Cardinals for their poor managerial decision, or because they can’t get a freaking hit in 5 innings, they get on Twitter and tell everyone what horrible fans they are for not “#believing” or for getting upset (examples: 1, 2 and 3). If you are one of these people…people who couldn’t name the Cardinals starting rotation, but want to tell others that “True Cardinal fans don’t get mad at the team!”…please go die in a fire with a cherished loved one watching. It’s easy to “believe” when you really don’t care if the Cardinals lose. If they lose and you say “Oh well.” and then turn the TV off and immediately resume your sports are dumb hipster mentality rather than smashing whatever is closest to you and go in to a rage coma, we’re talking about you. You suck. Just watch the games quietly.
As for you bank robber, we actually aren’t sure what type of fan you are. Please write your response on the back of a few hundred dollar bills (one bill per word please) and drop them off at Punching Kitty HQ. Thanks!