Man Shot in Groin, Probably Felt Less Funny Than It Sounds

 Posted on June 1, 2011  |  The Editor

A St. Louis man was walking down the street when he was robbed and then shot…in the dick. Officials say that the victim was walking west on Dr. Martin Luther King Drive when a maroon van occupied by a group of black men stopped. The suspect exited the van and demanded property. The suspect took a bag from the victim containing a wallet and a camera before firing shots at the victim, striking him in the groin. [Read More]
dick  robbery  shooting 

Man Starts Armed Police Standoff While Holding Infant

 Posted on May 30, 2011  |  The Editor

Sure no one would ever want to shoot a baby, but honestly, a one month old is way too little to be an effective human shield. You cover chest and you expose the face, cover your face with the baby and you expose your chest as well as your nose to any baby stink. The trick really is to find the perfect mix of size and cute “You wouldn’t shoot me, would you Mr. [Read More]
gun  north city  police 

St. Louis Judge Jack Garvey Is Taking a Stand Against Gun Violence

 Posted on May 27, 2011  |  The Editor

Holy crap, it’s about time! City Judge Jack Garvey (not pictured) has decided that enough is enough with the gun-related violence in the city and is doing what he can to stop it. Specficially, he’s taking every gun-related case that comes through his courtroom and multiplying the standard bond by 10. Judge Jack Garvey is now requiring suspects to post from $30,000 to $50,000 cash bond to be released until their case is heard. [Read More]
guns  violence 

Whoops: St. Charles Releases Wrong Guy From Jail

 Posted on May 26, 2011  |  The Editor

Maybe the St. Charles County Jail should invest in name tags, or maybe just a new policy instructing the staff to ask someone’s name before they release them from jail. Pretty clear that current the “Which one of you are supposed to be released?!” method has some flaws. Matthew C. Gierer, 26, of the 4200 block of Spring Branch Drive in St. Charles County was accidentally released Tuesday and was free for nearly eight hours before he turned himself in about 7:15 p. [Read More]
jail  morons  st charles 

St. Louis is Tough on Trash Dumping

 Posted on May 25, 2011  |  The Editor

[Editor’s Note: So since the time of this story’s writing last night, another story broke about a baby being found dead in a dumpster. Certainly a sad story, and one we may cover in a separate post. However, if you feel yourself getting pissy on this story simply because the word “dumpster” is a common thread, take a deep breath and read our story, slowly, so it sinks in, past the crazy parts of your brain. [Read More]
dumping  murder  trash 

City Police Mobilize on a Barrel Full of White Powder

 Posted on May 20, 2011  |  The Editor

A 55-gallon drum was found, rusted and broken open, spilling it’s contents of white powder in to a St. Louis alley in Ward 11. Of course, people were frightened. What was the white powder? Is it anthrax? Have the terrorist gotten lazy and started just throwing partially open barrels out of cars after their big boss is busy floating in the ocean, which has to sting with all the salt water in that head wound. [Read More]
dumping  trash 

Police Sweep Through Cahokia, Arresting Pretty Much Everyone

 Posted on May 20, 2011  |  The Editor

Cahokia, Illinois isn’t just an 6th grade class’ field trip location to learn about indians, it also happens to be completely overrun by criminals. In a shocking move the police finally got together to solve the problem and someone asked “Well, could just go get them at their house?” That’s just crazy enough to work. Dozens of law enforcers swept every home, looking for wanted criminals. “A lot of people scattered, retreated into their homes,” State’s Attorney Brendan Kelly said of the scene when officers rolled in. [Read More]
arrests  cahokia  Crime  police 

Crazy Old Man Arrested for Being a Crazy Old Man With a Gun

 Posted on May 18, 2011  |  The Editor

You know how people always say “I can’t wait to be old so I can get away with everything.” Well, that’s not entirely true. Sure you can get away with butt pinching, driving too slow, telling little kids that they’re ugly to their face, lingering while hugging your gradson’s hot girlfriend, saying racist stuff, and having a visible boner, but, while all those things are awesome, you really can’t get away with everything. [Read More]
Camdenton  gun  old people 

Ok, We Get It: St. Louis is a Violent Place to Live

 Posted on May 13, 2011  |  The Editor

In a report by Blythe Bernhard on STLToday.com: Youths in the city are killed by gun violence more often than in any other city except New Orleans, according to federal data released Thursday. …and New Orleans doesn’t really count since it’s like those tennis shoes that got really wet one weekend. Sure you kept them, but you’re not wearing them any more even after they dried out because now they smell funny. [Read More]
murder  violence  youth