You know how people always say “I can’t wait to be old so I can get away with everything.” Well, that’s not entirely true. Sure you can get away with butt pinching, driving too slow, telling little kids that they’re ugly to their face, lingering while hugging your gradson’s hot girlfriend, saying racist stuff, and having a visible boner, but, while all those things are awesome, you really can’t get away with everything. Ask the crazy 81-year-old escapee from a Camdenton care facility (read: death’s waiting room) who thought “walking around with a gun” was on the list, but found out just after police officers tackled his old ass, that it was not.
He was taken into custody immediately, but fired one shot during the struggle. Nobody was injured by the gunfire.
The Sheriff’s Office said Sunday the man has been charged with armed criminal action, second-degree assault on a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest, felonious restraint, resisting arrest and unlawful use of a weapon.
The Camden County Sheriff’s Office forgot to charge him with smelling like pee and sorrow, and wearing pulled up dress socks with shorts, but other than that it looks like they got the full list there.
We’d say to lock the crazy old guy up, but prison might be an upgrade from the old folks home. At least in prison, you’ll get your three meals and any prescribed meds. Sure, he’d be raped, but he can’t feel much down there anyway and at least its a visitor!
Photo Credit: Model Kate Upton on Twitter, who is awesome and knows that if you’re on Twitter and hot your job is to post sexy pictures of yourself. Sexy pictures that are way better than some old guy with a gun photo we were originally trying to find, but then got bored and decided to start looking up photos of hot chicks.