KMOV Reporter Likes the Interim U City Principal…Like Likes Her…Totally

You know how when a local high school anoints someone the interim principal everyone wants to talk about the big news and really pour over the effectiveness of the person who’s job is to keep the seat warm for the eventual principal, which then obviously leads to people clamoring for a local news anchor no one’s heard of to go on to the station’s website and tell everyone what he thinks about the interim principal after calling a meeting with her as if he, the principal or any of this matters? [Read More]

KMOV.com Posts Dumb Comments About the Price of Gas

KMOV is really just finding out about this whole internet thing and as such, are now taking posts to paste in comments from the site. You know how you’re always saying “I wonder what the random, nothing to do, loser who just spouts the same colloquialisms about every perceived obstacle in their life thinks about this news item”? You’re prayers have been answered! Gas hit $4 a gallon in the area recently, here’s the user content KMOV wanted to highlight (with our responses/translations): [Read More]
comments  gas  kmov 

Japanese Radiation Attacks Illinois!

KMOV doesn’t want to alarm anyone, but…wait…oh they did want to alarm people?! That explains how they had a featured story on their website and on their Friday news coverage about something that is completely harmless and possibly, maybe, but who knows, from a dangerous place somewhere else in the world. …and somehow people still think the internet is the only place bullshit, alarmist, horrible journalism happens. It’s pretty clearly just one of the places that stuff happens. [Read More]

Seat Warmers Are Burning People and Maggie Crane Says Maggie Crane Likes to Talk in the Third Person

KMOV’s Maggie Crane brings us a story of Volkswagon seat warmers that are burning people’s asses, no doubt after becoming sentient and fighting back against all those times you farted on them while in traffic or right before you got out of the car to head in to the office. A Metro East woman says the seat warmer in her Volkswagen Jetta melted her leather car seat and burned her back. [Read More]

Local News Confirms Their Weather Delusion to Gail Pennington

A lot of you wrote in to us with the same sentiment: “Do we really need around the clock local news coverage about the ‘storm of the century’”? Apparently the general St. Louis audience, or at least our readers, thought that if they had to be stuck at home, then they could at least watch some TV. Ha! Nice try St. Louis, but local news won’t let that happen. Not on their watch. [Read More]

Virginia Kerr is a Good Sport

To the winners go the spoils…assuming the winners is us being selected as the Best Local Celebrity Blog by the RFTand spoils mean being discussed on KMOV’s Great Day St. Louis. They get to us at the end, and we didn’t get a screen shot because we used naughty language in our post earlier today. Oh well. The important thing is that Virginia Kerr is a good sport! We don’t particularly care if our “targets” don’t get the joke, but it sure is nice when they do. [Read More]

Jud Birza’s Excellent Survivor Adventure

Jud Birza, just off his exciting Survivor win, is back in town for the holidays this week and while working out at a local YMCA, Birza gave KMOV some of his time for an interview with the St. Louis’ newest “million dollar man”. The interview is great, but not in the way KMOV or Jud would have hoped. You should really watch it. Don’t watch the whole thing though, it’s brutal. [Read More]

Virginia Kerr to Get Bumped to “Great Day” by Her Brunette Clone

Virginia Kerr, St. Louis’ news sweetheart, after famously tweeting about her sniz during labor, has been on maternity leave from her morning anchor post at KMOV who quickly found a brunette version of Kerr to fill the spot while she’s gone, one Claire Kellett. We have no idea how Claire is doing in her fill-in duties because we don’t get up that early and prefer to get our news from every other place ever, but apparently she’s doing just fine because now Brunette Virginia is in and Blonde Virginia is out. [Read More]

KMOV’s Virginia Kerr Had Her Baby, Told Twitter ALL About It

The great thing about Twitter is that if you ever want to know how dilated your local morning news anchor’s sniz is while she’s going through labor, you can know. We live in the future. Where’s our god-dammed hoverboard?! Starting with: “This [sic] it! I’m in labor, people!” KMOV morning anchor and resident cutie, Virginia Kerr started the process of labor and a steady stream of tweetsup until a few moments before she pooped out her baby boy. [Read More]

Blogger Startled by Shockingly Boring Headline

“Woman Startled by Person Outside Her Window“ Real headline from KMOV. While we keep looking for “Woman Burns Hand on Hot Plate After Waiter Told Her It Was Hot” you check out Mr. Block Quote: Belleville Police were called to the 500 block of North 40thStreet just after 8 a.m. The resident told police she was sitting in her living room when she heard a noise coming from her bedroom. [Read More]