KMOV’s Maggie Crane brings us a story of Volkswagon seat warmers that are burning people’s asses, no doubt after becoming sentient and fighting back against all those times you farted on them while in traffic or right before you got out of the car to head in to the office.
A Metro East woman says the seat warmer in her Volkswagen Jetta melted her leather car seat and burned her back.
Her complaint is not the only one. News 4’s Maggie Crane has been investigating this claim and more than 200 others like it.
Yawn. Someone’s car broke and it’s news? Here’s a story for you when you’re all done kicking this one around: One of my headlights is out. So do we call a press conference now or just send out a release? We could just deal with it ourselves, but how would we get on the news then? Life is tricky!
The far more fun aspect of this story is that Maggie Crane wrote the whole thing in the third person! The “interview” section of the article is the best:
“What did it smell like?” Maggie asked.
“Just something burning!” McCauley said.
A hole — scorched through her heated, leather seat.
“I was driving to work and had my seat heater on a four. It goes up to a five,” McCauley said.
“If the car will allow you to put it that high, it shouldn’t be dangerous,” Maggie said.
“Yeah. Scalding,” McCauley said. “It shouldn’t be scorching hot.”
The Editor thinks this is pretty weird. This reminds the Editor of “Jimmy” on Seinfeld, only this is really happening on a local news station. “The sad reality of this burns my ass like so many malfunctioning Volkswagon seat warmers.” said the Editor.