PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.

While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.

- The Editor

Boyfriend Babysitter Bites Four Year Old

 Posted on January 11, 2012  |  The Editor

Hey stupid moms, stop going to work and leaving your kids with your boyfriend! It never works out. “It’s no problem!” you think; “I’m sure he’s great with them!” you assume, but just because you feel like you’ve known him forever after he said “No it’s cool if they watch. I don’t mind kids.” after he became the surprise guest to last weekend’s drunken threesome, doesn’t mean he’s not going to do something equally horrible and far less consensual to your kids the minute you’re out of the house. [Read More]
abuse  boyfriend  children  illinios  troy 

Lindenwood University Can’t Have Nice Things

 Posted on January 10, 2012  |  The Editor

Lindenwood University’s Belleville campus used to have a statue in anchored near the Welcome Center, but that statue was stolen because it’s St. Louis, and even weird statues anchored in concrete are no longer safe. Investigators are trying to get to the bottom of an art heist in Belleville. Not quite sure this counts as an “art heist”. We we think of art heists, we’re assuming an elaborate scheme to steal a Mona Lisa-type piece, and involve at least one hacker, one super hot chick, a smooth leader and one black dude to be the one that has to start a distraction when the shit goes down…not two assholes walking straight to it at 2:30am, pushing it over, throwing it in a ditch and then coming back for it with their truck. [Read More]
belleville  lindenwood  statue  theft 

Spanish Lake Native Makes a Movie About Spanish Lake

 Posted on January 9, 2012  |  The Editor

St. Louis’ Spanish Lake area is the subject of a new documentary, and if all the slowly zooming text with thumping soundtrack is the be believed, it’s the scene of a brutal murder of several slutty teenagers by a machette wielding crazy man that escaped from some place that doesn’t really matter…oh and you can’t kill the guy for some reason. [Phillip] Morton, 32, is now an independent filmmaker based in Los Angeles. [Read More]
documentary  race  spanish lake 

Flow Chart Friday: Should I Shoot That Guy Over There?

 Posted on January 6, 2012  |  The Editor

It’s a question that pops in to the heads of many a St. Louis area resident: “Should I should that guy over there?” It’s not always an easy question, so going forward, use this handy flow chart to decide. The original version had a part where it asked if you were from a drug-addled neighborhood in North City, and if so, proceed directly to “Shoot him!” but we took it out because if people from drug-addled neighborhoods in North City can’t read, so there’s really no point. [Read More]
flow chart  shooting 

Dumb Kid Accidentally Arrives in St. Louis, Wanders Around Town Like a Jackass

 Posted on January 5, 2012  |  The Editor

Erik McBee is a 15 year-old from Phoenix who was trying fly to see his grandparents in Tulsa, which is such a cute little story, until you find out that this kid slept through the part when he was supposed to get off the damn plane, and ended up in St. Louis. He then proceeded to leave the airport, wander around until some lady drove him to the Florissant Police Station where is was placed back on a flight to Phoenix. [Read More]
kid  lambert airport  southwest 

Teachers’ Aide Busted (Twice) For Molesting Disabled Kids

 Posted on January 4, 2012  |  The Editor

John Cuneo a 66 year-old teaching assistant at Sigel Elementary School was busted for molesting a mentally disabled child…and then probably molesting one more minutes later. …a maybe even accidentally molesting a few more, because to do something as brazen as this buttwipe did, you’re balls would have to be so big that incidental contact while walking the halls seems unavoidable. Here’s the short version: A fellow school employee walks in a room to find Cuneo taking the boy’s hand and placing on his penis. [Read More]
molestation  pervert  sigel elementary 

Some Fat Kid in Wig Tried to Steal a Bunch of Pork Products From the Alton Shop N Save

 Posted on January 3, 2012  |  The Editor

The 19-year old pictured above wearing his awesome wig, Darrion Taylor, was recently apprehended at the Alton Shop ‘N Save by the store’s security guard and his off-duty policeman father who was visiting the store that the time. Taylor was trying to sneak out the following pork products totaling roughly $44 dollars: 2 packages of Pork Picnic Roast 2 packages of bacon 2 packages of Oreos 1 box of Peanut Butter Puffs cereal 1 package of “meat” 1 package of port shanks 1 package of Bar-S Jumbo Franks From the looks of it also appears homeboy was smuggling a few hams in his shirt, but he may have had them already as KSDK didn’t list them in the oddly intricate details they provided for some reason. [Read More]
alton  shop n save  theft 

Sure He Kidnapped You and Tried to Steal Your Money, But How Can You Be Mad at a Guy With a Smile Like That?

 Posted on January 2, 2012  |  The Editor

The jovial fellow above is on Gabriel Williams, who has been charged with multiple burglary, robbery, kidnapping and weapons charges after a New Years Eve crime spree that involved kidnapping a Clayton couple and driving them to the nearby Schnucks to they could cash a check for him. According to police, two suspects approached a man Saturday as he did yard work at his home in the 50 block of Arundel, in Clayton’s Demun neighborhood. [Read More]
clayton  kidnapping  robbery