Please Stop Rapping About St. Louis

 Posted on May 4, 2012  |  The Editor

Our apologies to Corle 2 Da. His “So St. Louis” video is no longer the “Worst Music Video Ever”, this big sensory turd known as “South City” by the Deuce is now the worst thing we’ve ever seen. Interesting side note: Deuce also holds the title of lamest, most generic artist name…unless they mean “Deuce” like “We’re going to take a deuce in your ear with our horrible rapping.” If that’s the case, it quickly becomes the most clever. [Read More]
duece  rap  south city  Video 

Two Year Old Found Wandering the Streets of Florissant

 Posted on May 1, 2012  |  The Editor

It’s pretty weird to see a baby walking the streets of Florissant, and even weirder when it’s not pregnant or trying to sell you weed, but that’s exactly what happened Monday (not the selling weed parts, but word was his prices weren’t that great). Katisha Reese said she found the boy barefoot and holding one show [sic] in the 6400 block of Hadden Bay Road. She picked him up and called police. [Read More]
baby  florissant 

Some Guy Crashed His Plane and Then Walked Home

 Posted on April 26, 2012  |  The Editor

A man wrecked his “ultralight” airplane near his Villa Ridge home, laid on the ground for a while and walked back home. No biggie. What did you do yesterday? Sheriff Gary Toelke says the man’s ultralight apparently hit a power line at an Ameren substation on Old Highway 100 near Mary Lane and fell about 30 feet to the highway below. “The pilot was laying on Highway 100 when the ambulance, fire, and EMS arrived. [Read More]
airplane  crash  villa ridge 

A Train Tipped Over in De Soto

 Posted on April 25, 2012  |  The Editor

There was a train wreck in De Soto, MO yesterday, but while it sounds horrible everything’s ok. No one was hurt, and when the guys got off the train to take a look at what happened, De Soto’s population nearly doubled. Unfortunately they’re stuck with cleaning up all the spilled cargo. Mark Davis, a spokesman for Union Pacific Railroad, said the 58-car freight train was transporting ballast rock (the kind that lines railroad tracks) from Iron Mountain, Mo. [Read More]
de soto  train 

A Crazy Fight Went Down at Meramec Community College

 Posted on April 12, 2012  |  The Editor

Update: The video was removed from YouTube, but we have found a second copy on Ebaum’s World which is embedded below. Original post follows… There was quite the fight yesterday on the Meramec Community College campus and there was video, because just like all those fat Britney Spears snatch shots. as horrible as it sounds you know you gotta check it out at least once. The video’s audio is pretty NSFW, and the video is recorded in that iPhone tall and skinny aspect ratio which is super annoying, but violates no known HR policies. [Read More]
fight  meramec community college  morons 

This Week in Duh: St. Charles County is Healthy, and St. Louis City is Not

 Posted on April 4, 2012  |  The Editor

Once again some organization told everyone stuff we already knew: St. Charles County is super healthy and St. Louis City is horribly unhealthy. Could it have something to do with the amount of violent crime and percentage of people with quality health care? Nah! It’s about parks and having a place to ride 10 speed bikes with black shorts and yellow skin tight tops that show your man boobs. For the third year in a row, St. [Read More]
city  Health  st. charles county 

The New Tornado Warnings Are Here and They Are Gonna Scare the Crap Out of You!

 Posted on April 3, 2012  |  The Editor

While it’s been well known to everyone for some time is that people, in general, ignore tornado warning sirens. They go off and people don’t listen, can’t hear them or just wish they’d stop so that they can continue their mugging without interruption. Weather people just found out though, and so as of today they are introducing a new warning system that they think will make people realize when a tornado is small, or a tornado is of Joplin-destroying magnitude. [Read More]
tornado  weather 

City Officials Foil Earth’s Plot to Swallow St. Louis

 Posted on March 28, 2012  |  The Editor

KMOV is reporting that a sink hole forming in South City has been fixed, thus foiling the earth’s desire to suck the city of St. Louis back in to the earth so it can grow a bunch of flowers there instead…and maybe put up a Jamba Juice. Residents in the 5200 block of Parker and Fairview say it had been blocking their alley since February. A St. Louis City Streets Department official says the broken sewer pipe underground should be fixed tomorrow. [Read More]
sink hole  south city 

Someone Barely Modified a Murdered Baby’s Tombstone

 Posted on March 23, 2012  |  The Editor

The police were called when the grandmother of Tyler Dasher, the baby who the state believe was killed by his mother because he would not stop crying, noticed that someone defaced Tyler’s headstone with a permanent marker. Shirley Ellington, the paternal grandmother of Tyler Dasher, filed a police report Saturday after she first saw the marking on the headstone at Mount Hope Cemetery. Well that’s pretty messed up. What sick bastard would deface a baby’s tombstone? [Read More]
tyler dasher 

Guy Rescues Kitties From Dumpster Bag

 Posted on March 20, 2012  |  The Editor

Willie Jones was throwing out the trash when he heard noises coming from a trash bag by the dumpster. We would have screamed like a girl, ran in to the house only to come out later with a broom and a chair to stand on while poking the bag. Willie just checked what was inside, which would have been our second choice. When he opened the bag, he found five tiny kittens struggling to breathe. [Read More]
kitties  morons