Your Daily Meth News: Stolen Licenses and the Walmart Lady Returns

There’s just too much meth news in St. Louis these days, so we’re just going to shrink two stories in to one so you can inhale them quickly, just try not to burn your thumb. Guess what? You might have helped this lady buy meth supplies! If you live in Maplewood and recently got your drivers license renewed then your ID might have been used to buy the ingredients for meth…but if you already buy stuff to make meth all the time then don’t worry about it we guess. [Read More]

Highlights From the St. Charles County Incident Report

Sometimes it feels like all we do is cover stories about crime in the city and in the Metro East…which is probably because we do, and probably because there’s lots of it. Like “Aretha Franklin boob skin” a lot. While we love being arbitrarily unfair at times, we do like being fair most of the time and so it’s far past time for us to flip through the St. Charles County “Incident Report” that the Post Dispatch puts together for probably the very same reason. [Read More]

Guy Gets Saved and Then Arrested for Assault

Elijah Wisniewski was rescued from a burning home Thursday after a police officer saw the flames and ran in to the home to save him. Quite a feel good story huh? Nothing like a cop coming the rescue of a man in trouble! …and if this happened anywhere other than the St. Louis area, the story probably would have ended right there, but instead this happened: The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that 31-year-old Elijah Wisniewski of Winfield was charged Monday. [Read More]

St. Louis Started a Washington Avenue Curfew

Friday was the first night with the new 10p – 4a Washington Avenue curfew for any one under 21 and none of the clubs were shot up last weekend (but at this point, who can tell?), so it’s going pretty well so far. St. Louis police turned to a “festival” permit to give them authority to bar anyone under age 21 from the entertainment district along Washington Avenue after 10 pm on Friday and Saturday this weekend. [Read More]

A Bunch of Snakes Were Stolen From the Aquarium in the City Museum

St. Louis will never run out of things we want to steal. This time it was snakes from the World Aquarium located inside downtown’s City Museum: One six foot long Boa Constrictor, one five foot long California Kingsnake, a four and a half foot long Dumeril’s Boa and a two foot long Ball Python. 17.5 feet of total snake, at an estimated worth of over 10 thousand bucks! “I think they knew these were high valued animals and they could take these animals and market these animals,” said World Aquarium President Leonard Sonnenschein. [Read More]

The Valley Park Mayor is So Exhausted He Argued, Ran and Spit on the Police

You know how some times you get so “exhausted” that you speed in your car and then when the cops stop you, you try to out run them, and then when they catch you and try to fight and spit on them and your breath smells like you’ve been drinking? Nathan Grellener, the “honorable” mayor of Valley Park knows! Police said Grellene [sic] was driving in Highway 30 in Jefferson County when he was stopped by officers for speeding. [Read More]

Someone Was Making Meth in the South County Walmart

So maybe we’re the only one, but we just figured that all Walmarts were cleared at night to sweep for meth labs. Maybe not though, because the South County Walmart was cleared out last night for that very reason and everyone’s all surprised. A customer cooking a so-called “one pot” batch of methamphetamine inside a pop bottle in her purse caused the Thursday night evacuation of the South County Walmart store. [Read More]

Heroin Must Make You Hot or Something

Outside air conditioning unit are being stolen all over the Godfrey, Illinois area and police think it might be related to that area’s favorite new hobby: Heroin. The thefts of outdoor units, nearly twenty of them, have taken place in every month since February. …but no one noticed until it got hot? Madison County Sheriff’s Lt. Kris Tharp says the targets are homes and businesses. Brillant! Why bother stealing all those outside air conditioning units on cars and skateboards when “homes and businesses” are right there for the taking? [Read More]

Woman Arrested For Beating Up Kid and Not Having Enough Eyebrow Hair

Terisha Wallace was arrested yesterday in Collinsville, Illinois after allegedly beating up a 13-year old kid. On Sunday, June 3, at approximately 8:08 p.m., the Madison County Sheriff’s Department was dispatched to a home in Maryville, Ill. where deputies met with the victim of a battery. The victim was suffering from facial swelling and bruising. The victim told deputies he was battered by two subjects. The victim identified Wallace and a 16-year-old male juvenile as the subjects who had battered him. [Read More]

Some Guy Got Shot in the Face While Leaving His Apartment

St. Louis’ totally uncool obsession with shooting people in the face continued over the weekend when a man was shot (in the face) while leaving his downtown apartment. Officials say the victim was driving outside the Mansion House Apartments off Memorial Drive just after 3 p.m. when two suspects walked up to his SUV and shot him. Dude. We really don’t want or need to get in to the long history of people getting shot in the face in our city, or why that’s just not civilized. [Read More]