The City Earning Tax Stays For Another Five Years

The few of you that voted decided that the St. Louis City earning tax should be kept around yesterday night, in what ended up being a decisive landslide approving Proposition E. Meanwhile, in his skull-shaped island lair, Mayor Slay tapped his fingers together in pleasure because he would continue to reap the roughly $150 million dollar revenue stream the income tax generates (or, probably more precisely, he wiped the sweat off his brow, high-fived his buddies, then went home to rub one out and get a good night’s sleep for the first time in a few months, but the super villan in his lair sounded more awesome). [Read More]

Pro-Gaddafi Protests Mistakenly Think St. Louis Has Anything to Do With Libya

Signs that read “Hands off Libya” and “Stop the bombing” were held high outside the federal building in downtown St. Louis Monday because 10 people really don’t want the US picking on Libya…but not quite enough to get on a plane and protest in front of a building that actually has anything to do with US bombing Libya. “Africa can and must handles its own affairs,” [Organizer Zaki Baruti] said, “Stop the bombing and military intervention in Libya and Africa. [Read More]

Mayor Slay is Still Begging the Missouri Senate For Control of Police Department

Yesterday a Missouri Senate committee heard testimony from both sides of the issue of whether or not St. Louis city should control the local Police Department, including the man himself, Mayor Frank Slay. Obviously the Mayor is a strong proponent for giving control of the city police force to the city as opposed to the status quo of the State running it from Jefferson City. “Again, if something goes wrong in city government, if people have an issue with what I’m doing, they can go to the polls and they can vote one way or another…they can’t do that with respect to the police department,” Slay said. [Read More]

Fairview Heights Aldermen Could Use a Good Spanking

A week ago an exclusive convention was held in the Four Points by Sheraton hotel in Fairview Heights and despite the fact the event took place quietly, and with no problems, the Fairview Heights aldermen decided it was worth everyone’s time to bitch about it anyway. Yes, the convention was sexual in nature…”Beat Me in St. Louis”…seriously…and at least one Alderwoman is saying that this type of event shouldn’t be held in her community: [Read More]

Hazelwood Hates the Girl Scouts

“We don’t want to give the impression we’re cracking down on Girl Scouts selling their cookies,” — Tim Davidson, a Hazelwood city spokesman Ok, but it does actually seem like you are trying to give the impression you’re cracking down on Girl Scouts selling their cookies, Mr. Davidson. You see…and maybe when we highlight this you’ll see our side…see it really started to feel like you were cracking down on Girl Scouts selling their cookies…when you started to crack down on a couple of Girl Scouts selling their cookies. [Read More]

Governor Nixon Gives St. Louis More Jogging Trails, Designated Areas for Muggers

St. Louis just hit the $1.5 million dollar jackpot with money to make jogging trails…or possibly more adequately named: muggable surface area. Any new paths for people to walk, unguarded, in to shady areas with iPod strapped to their arms sure makes things easy, which can only help St. Louis’ single largest export: People that don’t want to live here anymore. Cha-ching! Nixon said he had no problems allocating funds for trails in tough economic times for the state. [Read More]

No Layoffs for St. Louis City Police! The Fire Department However…

Question: Have you, or a loved one, had your car stolen by a fire by chance? Were you mugged by Fire recently? Ok, seriously now, where did Fire touch you? Did Fire rape you? If you’re answering no for the most part and have just been robbed, mugged, raped and stabbed by humans while living in the city, then all together, this should be good news. The St. Louis city Police Department will not have to lay off any officers this year! [Read More]

St. Louis to be the Proud Owners of the Worst Named Bridge Ever

The Golden Gate Bridge…the Brooklyn Bridge..and now? …The “Jerry F. Costello-William Lacy ‘Bill’ Clay Sr. Veterans Memorial Bridge”. Just rolls of the tongue doesn’t it? Yes, your local leaders are making moves to name the new Mississippi River bridge the “Jerry F. Costello-William Lacy ‘Bill’ Clay Sr. Veterans Memorial Bridge”. Who’s ready for eventual charity marathons?! Come on everyone! Sign up for the 2015 Fun Run to the Jerry F. Costello-William Lacy ‘Bill’ Clay Sr. [Read More]

St. Charles Hates Tattoo Shops, America, and Kittens (Probably)

If you live in St. Charles you should know that your local government thinks your stupid and it hates good ole American capitalism. They may also like stepping on cats tails and punching smiling 5 year-olds in the stomach. The last part we’re not 100% sure of, but the first two things are totally true. Exhibit One: They, once again, denied tattoo shops the right to start up within incorporated St. [Read More]

Ward 6 Alderwoman Kacie Starr Triplett Seems Pretty Popular With Everyone But Her Constituents

The city’s ward 6 Alderwoman is Kacie Starr Triplett, and she’s a star! If you don’t know, now you know! Check out this glittery bio: With a commitment to her community and to her beloved City, Kacie Starr Triplett, has emerged as one of Saint Louis’ youngest and brightest leaders. Elected at the age of 26 to the St. Louis Board of Aldermen, Kacie was sworn in as one the youngest elected leaders in the history of Saint Louis in April of 2007. [Read More]