Governor Nixon Gives St. Louis More Jogging Trails, Designated Areas for Muggers

St. Louis just hit the $1.5 million dollar jackpot with money to make jogging trails…or possibly more adequately named: muggable surface area. Any new paths for people to walk, unguarded, in to shady areas with iPod strapped to their arms sure makes things easy, which can only help St. Louis’ single largest export: People that don’t want to live here anymore. Cha-ching!

Nixon said he had no problems allocating funds for trails in tough economic times for the state. The money is from competitive federal grants, he said.

“The economic challenges and budget constraints don’t mean Missouri isn’t going to continue to compete and reward excellence, whether it’s in schools, police or parks.”

…and out of that list, you chose to help the parks?! …which actually were already pretty nice. Our police can barely keep the lights on despite the fact that Governor Nixon still wants to control them, for some reason, and our schools are so bad, transfer students are forgetting how to read soon after arriving.

Yeah, this is a great plan. Thanks Governor Nixon! You’re like that dead beat dad that shows up every once in a while to look like a hero only to give you $15 bucks stuffed in a card for your birthday, and when you tell him you don’t want to have him be in charge of making sure  you make it to soccer practice, he gets all pissy about it and then still forgets to pick you up every Tuesday.

via STLToday and our tipster!