PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Editor’s Note: Make sure you play this video in the background while you read this.

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive. To the right are some of our favorite and most acclaimed articles from our four year run. You may also enjoy “This Day in PK History” which shows the posts written on this date in years past, and this page which shows a random article from the archives.

- The Editor

The New Menards Store in O’Fallon Ain’t Gonna Happen, Damn You Obama!

Got dang Obama! He took our Menards! Seriously. The plans for a new O’Fallon, Missouri Menards store are kaput, and according to the Menards press release, you can thank President Obama for that. Clearly the President hates you, guy that already hatest him, and thinks you already have plenty of camouflage jackets. It was a big part of his campaign. We’re surprised you missed the “Jerry has too much camo, and that bright hunter orange looks horrible on him. [Read More]

Vernita Bruce Is Not Don King, So Just Stop Making Those Jokes Now. Frankly It’s A Bit Lazy.

Vernita Bruce is one hell of a mom! She has no comb or common sense and she’s clearly dangerously imbalanced, but she will go the extra mile to be horrible! Like when her 13-year-old daughter told her that girls at school wanted to fight her, did she just sit down with some Full House-style talk about how violence isn’t the answer, ending with a hug while the sounds of clapping come out of nowhere? [Read More]

A St. Louis Guy Just Looking For His Personal Secretary…To Have Sex With

Ladies form a line! This “aspireing entrapanuer” is looking for an “adventurous, intelligent, attractive and well spoken to be my live in secretary/ personal assistant”…basically he’s got a busy schedule, needs some help, and would also like to have sex with you. Truly a golden opportunity. We’re going to break down this epic Craigslist post, but before we begin we want to be clear that there aren’t enough “[sic]”s in the world for this post. [Read More]

Jordan Prince Strangles Babies

Hey anyone know what Jordan Prince is up to these days? Probably just out in St. Charles looking weird and strangling babies because they have the nerve to be all loud when you’re trying to eat a box of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls. You know how he do!! According to reports, Jordan L. Prince, 24, was charged with first-degree endangering the welfare of a child and second-degree murder on Thursday. [Read More]

They Blew Up the Blanchette Bridge

The horrible countdown aside, this is some pretty solid video of the demolition of the Blanchette Bridge: The bridge was a mess, far too narrow and it clearly needed to go. However it’s still sad to think of all the people from O’Fallon, Lake St. Louis and Wentzville having to start their life over in Chesterfield after driving over the bridge to visit the mall, unaware they will never be able to return to their home that they tell people is “in the St. [Read More]

Well the Ladue Middle School Sure Sounds Fun

The police are all over Ladue Middle School after it was found that an underage female student was involved in a sexual conversation and exchanged pictures with an adult man on the school’s computers…during school hours. According to school officials, while the student was in class, a technology staff member noticed something strange going on with one of the school’s computers. The employee went over to the computer in question and saw video from a chat room of a middle-aged man exposing himself to the student and masturbating. [Read More]

The Free Bathroom Trash Guy Got Back to Us

A little over a month ago we sent an inquiry over to the person selling “free bathroom trash” on our local Craigslist for $150. This weekend, we finally got a response! If you speak retard, please send us a translation. For context, here’s our original email: We saw your “free bathroom trash” ad on Craigslist, and we’re intrigued. What’s the run down? Is there a strong demand for your trash so far? [Read More]

SLU Basketball Coach Rick Majerus Died

The former — he just officially left the post a few weeks ago before the current season began to deal with his health issues — St. Louis University basketball, Rick Majerus died. He only 64, but with a body like that “only 64” turns in to “somehow made it to 64” pretty quick. Majerus amassed a career record of 517-215, taking Ball State, Utah and Saint Louis to the NCAA tournament a total of 11 times and leading the 1998 Utes on an improbable run to the national title game. [Read More]

South County Woman Beats the Hell Out of Her Possibly Demonic Grandmother

It’s tough to watch close relatives get old. As their ability to do their once simple tasks slowly slip from their withered grasp, they rely on us to be strong for them and guide them through those last remaining miles, but it’s not always easy to be strong. Some nights as you tuck your 92-year-old grandmother in to bed, your mind begins to drift to unpleasant thoughts like “Is this the last Christmas I’ll have with my grandma? [Read More]

Horrible Foreign Guy Nearly Kills Pregnant Woman, Smashes Daycare

The concept of deportation was invented for this asshole. Here’s the short version: A severely impaired driver swerved and ran red lights for miles down Jennings Station road in Pine Lawn, Missouri. At the Margaret intersection he swerved again, this time smashing in to a pregnant woman and then the side of a daycare. …after that he called everyone’s favorite president, Abe Lincoln, a pussy on Facebook and got out of the car, stepped on a baby bunny, and took a dump on a laptop…but the laptop had pictures of Julia Roberts on it…yes, America’s Sweetheart! [Read More]