PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Editor’s Note: Make sure you play this video in the background while you read this.

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive. To the right are some of our favorite and most acclaimed articles from our four year run. You may also enjoy “This Day in PK History” which shows the posts written on this date in years past, and this page which shows a random article from the archives.

- The Editor

Merry Christmas Poor St. Louis Kids! Said the Guy That Stole Your Presents

St. John’s Lutheran Church on Morganford has been robbed again, the fourth time in two weeks and the 12th time over the last two years. This time the thieves ran off with a safe, some cash, a bunch of presents, and food bank gifts. The cops would love to stop them, but who knows if they’re going to strike for a 5th time next week, or a 13th time over-all? I mean, who can know something like that? [Read More]

O’Fallon, Illinois’ Water is Stinky

The fine folks of O’Fallon, Illinois have noticed something a little weird about their tap water recently: It stinks. Not “stinks” like it tastes bad, but “stinks” as in it smells like an elephant’s vagina that was packed with garlic cream cheese three days ago. Ok, maybe it’s not that bad…or maybe it is…honestly we’ve never smelled either. We could have nailed our stink description completely, but we’ll hopefully never know. [Read More]

Hello?! Is Anyone Out There?

Guys? Hello?! Did the apocalypse happen? Honestly, we don’t know because there’s been a row of broken busted-ass buildings outside our bedroom window for a long time now, and so it’s pretty hard to tell if the world ended, or we’re just still looking at the same “historical landmarks” we always see. Someone call San Francisco and ask if things look different over there because we just aren’t sure in St. [Read More]

Someone Is Stealing Your Amazon Shipments

The St. Louis Police Department wants to take a moment to remind you that you live in a city so crime-ridden that you can’t even leave packages on your doorstep anymore without them being stolen. In fact, if you see a package on your doorstep, don’t go get it! It’s a probably a trap. When you open it a guy will pop out and stab you. Sure that box looked like it only had a single book it in, but that’s just what they wanted you to think. [Read More]
theft 

Jenna Fischer Loves Imo’s

St. Louis native, and star of The Office which is amazingly still on TV for a a little while longer, Jenna Fischer was on Jimmy Kimmel Live and professed her love for Imo’s, while Kimmel listed off a bunch of other good places…but none of them were Imo’s, and Kimmel hates Imo’s, so he sucks. He’s right about Winslow’s Home though. Of course, we’re still pretty upset with Jenna for not taking our interview request, but the fact that she loves Imo’s helps. [Read More]

That Must Have Been One Really Bad Hair Cut

_Update: Hey look, what do you know! This shooting was because of an argument about the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting according to the AP. A shooting because of an argument about a shooting? USA! USA!_ Original post below… A man entered the “All Cuts Barber Shop” in Wentzville, MO yesterday, apparently had an altercation with someone inside, left and returned a moment later to shoot the place up. Do they not get the news in Wentzville? [Read More]

Senator McCaskill: Taking on the FAA For You and Your iPad

Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill is totally sick of having to turn off her iPad in planes during take-off and landing. “Dammit, I just got to the good part!” Senator McCaskill would say, as she wraps up her headphones while angrily pausing _Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection_. “This is total bullshit! …oh great, and I forgot my magazine! Now I’m gonna have to read this Sky Mall like some kind of asshole. [Read More]

The Rams’ Danny Amendola Hates Old Rams Ushers

The Rams lost Sunday to the Vikings, but the game wasn’t without it’s moments…like when Danny Amendola spiked a football in to the face of some poor old usher standing behind the endzone. Deadspin has one of the many gifs of this epic event: Danny, here’s what you did wrong: Chill bro. Great job on the touchdown, but you were way too fired up for a guy on a team that was getting stomped. [Read More]

The RFT Called That Craigslist Guy

Earlier this week we were the first to bring you the story about a local man looking for a live-in secretary who will pick up his kid from school, be “semi professional” and “semi respectable” and enjoys his interest in “420”…oh and hopefully have sex with him. …yeah you’d hate to get someone that’s any more than “semi” respectable. It would totally ruin your whole business venture that is definitely not…unretarded. [Read More]

Well She Certainly Looks Like She’s Learned Her Lesson…

That smiling face you see above belongs to 19-year-old Chtonia Battle. Ms Battle was being charged for the murder of 53-year-old, “super nice guy” Benny Hill. Chtonia reportedly drug Hill from the van he was driving to work, stabbed him in the neck and left him to die, bleeding in the street. Chtonia Battle is the worst kind of person. She shouldn’t even be counted as a person…”Chtonia” certainly shouldn’t count as a name, so it’s really not that much of a stretch. [Read More]
murder