Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill is totally sick of having to turn off her iPad in planes during take-off and landing. “Dammit, I just got to the good part!” Senator McCaskill would say, as she wraps up her headphones while angrily pausing _Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection_. “This is total bullshit! …oh great, and I forgot my magazine! Now I’m gonna have to read this Sky Mall like some kind of asshole. People will be all like ‘Hey, look that’s Claire McCaskill reading Sky Mall, I can’t believe she’s trying to train her cat to use the toilet when we should be fixing this country!’, like I need that right now! ” [Editor’s Note: We’ve never met Claire McCaskill, but we’re confident that our text-based impersonation of her is in the ballpark. Kinda just feels right.]
Senator Claire McCaskill of Missouri sent a letter to Michael P. Huerta, acting administrator of the F.A.A., writing that airline customers were “growing increasingly skeptical of prohibitions on the use of many electronic devices during the full duration of a flight.”
She added, “I am prepared to pursue legislative solutions should progress be made too slowly.”
It’s is a little weird that the F.A.A. recently approved the use of iPads in the cockpit, but still doesn’t allow them back in the seats with less buttons. You know what else this rule change would cut down on? Flight attendants talking over the plane PA system. Holy crap they love that! One less time for them to talk, followed by a reminder about the rewards points card, and some stupid inside joke between the crew is a huge win regardless of whether or not we have to turn off our iPad.
“The current rules are inconvenient to travelers, don’t make sense and lack a scientific basis,” she said in the letter. “Airline employees have the incredibly important job of keeping us safe in the air. Their efforts are better spent worrying about rules that actually accomplish that goal.
So far the F.A.A. hasn’t had any formal response to the Senator. Neither has Sky Mall.
Meanwhile, Todd Akin, McCaskill’s vanquished Senatorial opponent, still firmly believes that manned flight is the product of the devil, and iPads are are an affront to baby Jesus and a clear rip off of Pee Wee Herman’s Magic Screen.