Police Chief Dotson is Already Getting Good at the Crime Numbers Math Game

KMOV recently sat down with new St. Louis Police Chief Sam Dotson, and it’s pretty clear the man is already getting good at the ole “It’s not as bad as it seems” game, picking up right where former Chief Isom left off. Sam Dotson was candid and poignant in his answers saying “one homicide is too many,” and the goal for his department is to have a year with no killings. [Read More]

East St. Louis: Where You Can Get Robbed While at Church

The thugs of East St. Louis have broken the last barrier: They’re robbing you in church now! East St. Louis Police Chief Michael Floore said a call reporting the incident came into the Police Department at 5:12 p.m. about the armed robbery of people at IRA Grove Baptist Church, located at 1701 Belmont. “Church service was going on when three masked gunmen went into the church and robbed the people who were there at gunpoint,” Floore said. [Read More]

Popular Bluff Man Beats Parents With Baseball Bat, Tells Police

Going forward, Thanksgivings will probably be a little awkward… Man confesses to brutally beating his parents at their Poplar Bluff home Tuesday evening. Well, the important thing is that he eventually told the truth. Pretty sure that’s what Bill Cosby told Rudy and we can’t think of a reason why it wouldn’t apply here. Officers with the Poplar Bluff Police Department were called to the scene at 12 p. [Read More]

The Central West End Has a Flasher

The police are looking for a new flasher showing his central south front area to the ladies of the Central West End area. The lonely gentleman has reportedly let it hang several times last weekend alone, which begs the question: Isn’t the summer or spring the better time to be a flasher? It’s awfully cold to be letting the little general out. I guess it wasn’t as cold last weekend, but still you’re probably not doing yourself any favors by whipping it out between November and March. [Read More]

St. Louis Thieves and Michael Strahan Love Subway

A south St. Louis Subway (Which one? It doesn’t matter. It’s like saying “A St. Charles County Quiktrip.” the statement is so broad its meaningless.) was robbed for a second time over the span of five days: Once on Janurary 7th and then again this morning at 2:30am. The only benefit we can think of for robbing a Subway would be not having to worry about carrying away too much cash, or any bills over $5, and the fact that you could stuff your pockets with their over-priced avocado on the way out the door. [Read More]

Porn Shop Owners’ South County Home Penetrated By Two Guys

According to St. Louis County Police reports, two armed men broke in to the home of the owners of multiple “adult entertainment businesses” in the area, stealing cash and injuring both victims. The intruders beat up the husband and wife at their home on the 4400 block of Forder Ridge in south St. Louis County, according to police, and stole an undisclosed amount of cash. The victims were treated for minor injuries at an area hospital. [Read More]

Merry Christmas Poor St. Louis Kids! Said the Guy That Stole Your Presents

St. John’s Lutheran Church on Morganford has been robbed again, the fourth time in two weeks and the 12th time over the last two years. This time the thieves ran off with a safe, some cash, a bunch of presents, and food bank gifts. The cops would love to stop them, but who knows if they’re going to strike for a 5th time next week, or a 13th time over-all? I mean, who can know something like that? [Read More]

Someone Is Stealing Your Amazon Shipments

The St. Louis Police Department wants to take a moment to remind you that you live in a city so crime-ridden that you can’t even leave packages on your doorstep anymore without them being stolen. In fact, if you see a package on your doorstep, don’t go get it! It’s a probably a trap. When you open it a guy will pop out and stab you. Sure that box looked like it only had a single book it in, but that’s just what they wanted you to think. [Read More]
theft 

That Must Have Been One Really Bad Hair Cut

_Update: Hey look, what do you know! This shooting was because of an argument about the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting according to the AP. A shooting because of an argument about a shooting? USA! USA!_ Original post below… A man entered the “All Cuts Barber Shop” in Wentzville, MO yesterday, apparently had an altercation with someone inside, left and returned a moment later to shoot the place up. Do they not get the news in Wentzville? [Read More]

Well She Certainly Looks Like She’s Learned Her Lesson…

That smiling face you see above belongs to 19-year-old Chtonia Battle. Ms Battle was being charged for the murder of 53-year-old, “super nice guy” Benny Hill. Chtonia reportedly drug Hill from the van he was driving to work, stabbed him in the neck and left him to die, bleeding in the street. Chtonia Battle is the worst kind of person. She shouldn’t even be counted as a person…”Chtonia” certainly shouldn’t count as a name, so it’s really not that much of a stretch. [Read More]
murder