Lots of Panties Have Been Stolen From the Galleria’s Victoria’s Secret

 Posted on February 22, 2012  |  The Editor

If Victoria’s secret was that you can just walk in to the store and take a arm load of panties off a table and walk out without anyone noticing, then the secret’s out. Police are currently investigating the theft of over 100 pairs of underwear from a display table at the St. Louis Galleria in Richmond Heights. The theft reportedly occurred at the Victoria’s Secret store inside the mall on Valentine’s Day. [Read More]
galleria  panties 

St. Charles County Man Found Guilty of Having Great Hair (and Threatening a Judge)

 Posted on February 15, 2012  |  The Editor

A St. Charles County court recently sentenced Alexander Long, 23, to 41 months in federal prison and not only is he skinny, but he’s got a head of hair even Full House’s Uncle Jesse would be jealous of. The only thing we can imagine Alex being guilty of is having a fantastic head of hair of black slik spun from the gods themselves, but there’s some other stuff like threatening a judge and his family. [Read More]
prison  rape  st charles 

Authorities Catch ‘Same Coat Bandit’ Despite The Fact That He Was Wearing a Different Coat

 Posted on February 14, 2012  |  The Editor

Authorities have somehow managed to capture last week’s famed “Same Coat Bandit”, so named because he wore the same coat a couple of times and apparently the Feds are big sticklers to the fashion trends of this season’s thieves and decided to publicly berate the guy. Nicholas J. Hummel, 29, of the 5700 block of Loran Avenue, was charged with two counts of second-degree robbery. Authorities also suspect Hummel in three other bank recent bank robberies in the St. [Read More]
bank robbery 

We Have Officially Run Out of Clever Bank Robber Names

 Posted on February 9, 2012  |  The Editor

[Editor’s Note: For context, this was part of our impromptu “Animated GIF Week“] Pair the bad economy with our population’s natural love of guns and playing dress up and it seems like everyone’s robbing banks these days. As such, the local media has latched on to this trend hard. Like a snow storm during a morning commute hard. Much like weather events, every bank robbery has be punched up a notch and have a catchy name, and as such you can’t seem to “take a penny” these days without seeing a grainy security camera still with a clever nickname overlay plastered all over the evening news. [Read More]
bandit  bank robbery  gif week 

Woman Tricks Cops, Steals Their Wallet to Buy Smokes and Lottery Tickets

 Posted on January 31, 2012  |  The Editor

In what had to have been one of the most embarrassing police reports filed in at least the last few years, two St. Louis officiers detailed how they were conned, robbed and then duped again by a 25-year old woman named Tonia. Tonia Rene Hart, 25, of the 5400 block of Blow Street, told police that her boyfriend had stolen her keys after an argument. The officers drove Hart to her boyfriend’s home, two blocks away, and left her in the cruiser while they went inside. [Read More]
cops  south city 

Jermaine Johnson is Probably The Worst Boyfriend Of All Time

 Posted on January 24, 2012  |  The Editor

Jermaine Johnson is really bad at relationships and we have no idea if eharmony scores go in to the negative ranges (or even if they have scores) but if anyone could do it, it’s Jermaine. Jermaine was charged today on four new counts of felony, but we’ll get to that in a second. First here’s what he’s already done. The short version is: He broke in to his girlfriend’s house, poured lighter fluid on her and threatened to light a match while he raped her. [Read More]
aids  jermaine johnson  rape 

Just One? Oh KMOV, You’re Just Not Looking Hard Enough!

 Posted on January 20, 2012  |  The Editor

We noticed this headline last night on KMOV.com, but after a second we realized we always notice this headline on KMOV.com.  Think of the time it saves to just always have this same headline on the home page! If someone calls you on it you’re only wrong for a max of like 30 minutes. It’s brilliant.

kmov  murder  north city 

The Federal Government Finally Noticed How Hard East St. Louis Sucks

 Posted on January 20, 2012  |  The Editor

After the recent loss of yet another police chief, this one admitted to stealing XBox’s, the federal and Illinois State government finally realized something: East St. Louis is a big pile of bloody shit. “We are looking at the development of a no-man’s land in certain parts of these communities where there is a complete lack of credible law enforcement,” said St. Clair County State’s Attorney Brendan Kelly, “and the people that live there, their safety is in peril. [Read More]
east st. louis 

Guy That Escaped Meth House Explosion Gets Busted Via Facebook

 Posted on January 18, 2012  |  The Editor

A meth lab explosion in Cahokia ended with two men arrested soon after and a third, Gary Morrison, who initially eluded capture, and found the time to update his Facebook profile with a photo of his charred face. A photo that police say will definitely be used against him in his up-coming court case. “It is one of the few times in my 20-year law enforcement career when we have gathered evidence like this using Facebook,” Detective Joe Beliveau said. [Read More]
cahokia  illinois  meth 

Boyfriend Babysitter Bites Four Year Old

 Posted on January 11, 2012  |  The Editor

Hey stupid moms, stop going to work and leaving your kids with your boyfriend! It never works out. “It’s no problem!” you think; “I’m sure he’s great with them!” you assume, but just because you feel like you’ve known him forever after he said “No it’s cool if they watch. I don’t mind kids.” after he became the surprise guest to last weekend’s drunken threesome, doesn’t mean he’s not going to do something equally horrible and far less consensual to your kids the minute you’re out of the house. [Read More]
abuse  boyfriend  children  illinios  troy