PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Editor’s Note: Make sure you play this video in the background while you read this.

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive. To the right are some of our favorite and most acclaimed articles from our four year run. You may also enjoy “This Day in PK History” which shows the posts written on this date in years past, and this page which shows a random article from the archives.

- The Editor

Bridgeton Battles Mutant Stink

So the word is that Bridgeton, Missouri smells horrible. Like if a monkey ate a bunch of rotten cheese, and then an elephant ate the monkey and it gave him diarrhea, which was put in a blender with some asparagus pee and poured in to Lindsay Lohan’s vagina…or something else that smells bad. Residents said the smell was horrid. There were some residents in St. Ann who said they could smell it too. [Read More]

We Won Another RFT Web Award

Thanks to the Riverfront Times for once again honoring us with a RFT Web Award. We even showed up to the award show, making a rare public appearance to meet with the fans and lean on a wall while tweeting jokes that never did get to show up on the big Twitter wall thing they had. Damn censors. The show was quite the spectacle. RFT’s Chad Garrison really took to the role of host (think James Franco at the Oscars) which only turned out to the be pre-show, as the impromptu freaky dance party that followed the awards portion really stole the show, and cost us a few grand in therapy ones those memories un-repress themselves in 10 years. [Read More]

Chuck Berry Given Lifetime Achievement Award, Still Won’t Take Off That Stupid Hat

The local legend, and 1st mate on the SS Crazy Old Man, Chuck Berry was given a lifetime achievement award by the St. Louis Arts and Education Council Monday at the Chase Park Plaza Hotel. …and yes, he was wearing that damn captain’s hat. Berry is one of the pioneers of rock `n’ roll with a string of hits that included “Maybellene, “Sweet Little Sixteen” and “Johnny B. Goode.” He still performs every month at Blueberry Hill in the St. [Read More]

Missouri Lawmaker Wants to Discourage Sex Offenders From Hiring Real Estate Agents

Missouri Representative Charlie Davis is thinking out loud about pushing a new law that would put pressure on any sex offenders trying to buy a home in Missouri, and the real estate agent that helps them. Sex offenders “have the right to live in a community if they want to, but it’s also the right of the families to know if there is a member in their community that is a convicted sex offender against children so we can make sure our children are aware of it and it doesn’t happen to them,” said Davis, R-Webb City. [Read More]

Missouri Representative Wants to Tax Violent Video Games, Remind Everyone We’re Retarded Out Here

Diane Franklin, the Missouri Representative from Camdenton, has made the news recently by calling for a 1% sales tax on all violent video games, which is timely not only because of our nation current gun violence debate but also because it’s been a few weeks since a public figure from Missouri stood up, opened their mouth and reminded everyone that Missouri has stupid public figures and to continue to make fun of us for being fat redneck retards. [Read More]

Popular Bluff Man Beats Parents With Baseball Bat, Tells Police

Going forward, Thanksgivings will probably be a little awkward… Man confesses to brutally beating his parents at their Poplar Bluff home Tuesday evening. Well, the important thing is that he eventually told the truth. Pretty sure that’s what Bill Cosby told Rudy and we can’t think of a reason why it wouldn’t apply here. Officers with the Poplar Bluff Police Department were called to the scene at 12 p. [Read More]

You Should Definitely Eat This Strangers Bacon

This guy has some bacon, but he doesn’t like bacon, so instead of just returning the bacon from where it came from or throwing away the bacon, he decided the only option was to put it on Craigslist. Why didn’t he just give it to a friend…oh never mind. Starting to feel a little bit sorry for lonely bacon Cragistlist guy. Free bacon, I just don’t like bacon, serious inquires only, drop a text at ****** [Read More]

The Central West End Has a Flasher

The police are looking for a new flasher showing his central south front area to the ladies of the Central West End area. The lonely gentleman has reportedly let it hang several times last weekend alone, which begs the question: Isn’t the summer or spring the better time to be a flasher? It’s awfully cold to be letting the little general out. I guess it wasn’t as cold last weekend, but still you’re probably not doing yourself any favors by whipping it out between November and March. [Read More]

Missouri Governor Jay Nixon Wants Your Stupid Kid to Be Smarter

Governor Jay Nixon knows that his state’s schools are lagging behind the rest of the country, which has an effect on the state’s economy as the stupid kids don’t tend to move as much, so he’s got a plan to fix it. It’s been budgeted, the schools are on board and it’s genius. Are you ready? Here it is: Missouri schools will now be required to extend their school year by six days! [Read More]