Everyone knows that Becky, the area’s “Queen of Carpet”, has a long history of horrible commercials and if one came on right now, you’d be all like “Ugh, how has that carpet she stands on not given way and let her fall to her death yet?!” …but if we told you she uploaded all of her old commercials to YouTube, we bet  you’d spend the vast majority of your Friday watching them!

[Editor’s Note: For context, this was part of our impromptu “Animated GIF Week“]

The first of today’s new GIFs features Jarrell, slicking his Jheri Curl back while the camera dramatically zooms back to show the Arch. It’s god dammed beautiful!

For those unaware, Jarrell is the start of our all-time favorite local commercial from the past featuring a music video format and selling a $27.50! You can see the full commercial, with it’s unending gif-able moments in our archives. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and watch it. It’s Friday, and we won’t tell your boss anyway.

[Editor’s Note: For context, this was part of our impromptu “Animated GIF Week“]

Did you happen to catch the weird Ray Vison commercial aired during the Super Bowl last night? Even from the squeaky voiced man that has made former Cardinal skipper Tony LaRussa do some odd things for cash, this was quite a doozy (See the whole video here)!

At the very least, it managed to confuse St. Louis Super Bowl watchers, while others considered it an “insult”

Five random thoughts after watching one of the weirdest local news commercial St. Louis has seen (and it’s seen some insanely weird ones):

1. Are my only choices for my lineup Katie Felts, Rene Knott, and Frank Cusumano? We’d love a “Create-an-Anchor-That-Can-Pronounce-Names-Correctly” Feature! Eh who are we kidding, we’d take all the fun out of the game by maxing all the attributes to 100, making a over-sized linebacker of a sports reporter who will just run over people…just like KMOV did.

UVerse must have accidentally let a Cardinal game through because last night we sat down and actually got to watch the Cardinals hammer the Diamondbacks. It had been a few days since we last watched a Cardinal game, so as we blissfully drank in the offensive displays that usually bore us and watched Lance Berkman’s grand slam shot float over the wall of Chase Field we had all but forgotten the thing that would later ruin the game for us. The same thing that has ruined every Cardinal game, despite the outcome, so far this year…no, not Ryan Franklin…it’s those horrible Ray Vinson commercials featuring Tony LaRussa!

We don’t want to over sell the video below, but it is, without question, the greatest thing I have seen on the internet ever. Yes, we’ve seen Little Superstar. It’s better. Its a commercial advertising Jheri Curls from a guy name Jarrell…and its in St. Louis!

Just look up there. Those piercing eyes of the guitarist. The glistening chest of Jarrell. That’s clearly Prince standing there on the right. This is totally set in someone’s basement. A better commercial has yet to be made!

We can just picture Jarrell sitting at home editing this directly on his camera attached to his VCR, laying back in his bean bag chair, Jheri curl wet spot growing behind him, thinking about now epic this ad is going to be, now much money and more importantly, chicks, he’s going to be pulling in after this airs. …as if he can handle more broads! Silk white pants like those aren’t made for keepin’ on, their for slidin’ off!

Click “read more” below to see the video! Go ahead and take your socks off first, just to be safe. We don’t want to be responsible for putting holes in your shoes.

Baseball is nearly upon us and that means new Cardinal commercials.  We have done our homework and watched each and every one, linked them below, and have a few quick facts as well.

1. We don’t know why exactly the Cardinals need commercials, but we’re glad they still make them.

2. Ok, so  you don’t put in the newly acquired Matt Holiday, but you do put in Fredbird. Twice. Update: We stand corrected. There is a Holiday spot, but its not funny and thus we don’t think it counts.

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Have you seen the All-Star game commercials running on Fox yet?  Here it is:

What did you think?  I thought it was a bit odd.  The Arch as a magnet?  What?!  I just don’t get it.  Can anyone explain why they went this way with a whole world of other, less odd, choices were in front of them?

The one part that was pretty awesome was when Derek Jeter got “yanked” [Editor’s Note: Mental rimshot!] off the field, but Robinson Cano was left standing there like a douche.  Way to be a good sport Cano!