Substitute Teachers are the Best!

Was there ever a greater school day joy in a young child’s life greater than when you walked in to class to find a substitute teacher? Sure it didn’t always turn out great. You got your fair share of “Maybe if I’m really hard on the kids they’ll make me in to a real teacher!” subs, but most of the time you got some guy that just wanted you to be quiet and watch this barely educational move while he leaned back is his borrowed chair and think what’s he going to do with that tiny tiny pay check he was going to get…and then there’s the substitues that bring tasers to school. [Read More]

St. Charles County Touts Lower Teen Pregnancy Rate

Teen pregnancy is declining in St. Charles County everyone! It’s also declining nationally by about the same rate, but that must just be some crazy coincidence because stuff is really going well out in St. Charles County. That many Applebee’s can’t be wrong! From 1990 to 2000, there were nearly 23 percent fewer teen pregnancies in the county. For teens ages 15 to 17, the number dropped more than 50 percent. [Read More]

That Bridgeton Landfill Stink Won’t Kill You…Yet

Nearly a month ago we told you how Bridgeton, Missouri stinks. Like for realz stinks. It still stinks today, but at least area residents can metaphorically breathe easy after officials from the Department of Natural Resources released a statement saying that the stink wasn’t life threatening, but also confirmed that “the city who smelt it, dealt it.” On Friday, the Department of Natural Resources quietly released a brief summary of air sampling results on its website. [Read More]

Bridgeton Battles Mutant Stink

So the word is that Bridgeton, Missouri smells horrible. Like if a monkey ate a bunch of rotten cheese, and then an elephant ate the monkey and it gave him diarrhea, which was put in a blender with some asparagus pee and poured in to Lindsay Lohan’s vagina…or something else that smells bad. Residents said the smell was horrid. There were some residents in St. Ann who said they could smell it too. [Read More]

Larry Rice Wants to Buy a YMCA for $1

Larry Rice is continuing to petition Belleville, Illinois voters to pass his ballot measure that would demand the city sell him the vacant YMCA building for one dollar…then he’s going to send his army of homeless people out looking for that one dollar. Here’s hoping Belleville will take a sack of pennies as payment. The Rev. Larry Rice on Monday submitted a 790-signature petition to the St. Clair County Clerk’s Office to force the ballot measure calling for the city to sell the property to his New Life Evangelistic Center in St. [Read More]

The Powell Square Building Will Be Coming Down…On Purpose!

You know which one the Powell Square Building is right? No? It’s the one downtown that looks like the remains of a building that was eaten and shit out from the other side of a zombie apocalypse. Well it’s finally going to be demolished. It shouldn’t be hard to take down though since at this point we’re pretty sure the walls are gone and it’s being held up by graffiti and stacks of homeless guy coats. [Read More]

Local Group to Offer “Almost Free” Gun Training to Teachers

SAFTI, Saint Louis Association of Firearms Training Instructors, who’s acronym is cheating a little too much to get the wink they were going for, is getting some free press today after offering area school teachers “almost free” gun training that would allow them to have a “conceal and carry” gun permit. SAFTI, the Saint Louis Association of Firearms Training Instructors, is offering St. Louis-area school teachers what he calls “almost free” training so they can obtain a concealed carry permit. [Read More]

O’Fallon, Illinois’ Water is Stinky

The fine folks of O’Fallon, Illinois have noticed something a little weird about their tap water recently: It stinks. Not “stinks” like it tastes bad, but “stinks” as in it smells like an elephant’s vagina that was packed with garlic cream cheese three days ago. Ok, maybe it’s not that bad…or maybe it is…honestly we’ve never smelled either. We could have nailed our stink description completely, but we’ll hopefully never know. [Read More]

A St. Louis Guy Just Looking For His Personal Secretary…To Have Sex With

Ladies form a line! This “aspireing entrapanuer” is looking for an “adventurous, intelligent, attractive and well spoken to be my live in secretary/ personal assistant”…basically he’s got a busy schedule, needs some help, and would also like to have sex with you. Truly a golden opportunity. We’re going to break down this epic Craigslist post, but before we begin we want to be clear that there aren’t enough “[sic]”s in the world for this post. [Read More]

They Blew Up the Blanchette Bridge

The horrible countdown aside, this is some pretty solid video of the demolition of the Blanchette Bridge: The bridge was a mess, far too narrow and it clearly needed to go. However it’s still sad to think of all the people from O’Fallon, Lake St. Louis and Wentzville having to start their life over in Chesterfield after driving over the bridge to visit the mall, unaware they will never be able to return to their home that they tell people is “in the St. [Read More]