Creve Coeur Park to Install Zip Line Because Zip Lines are Awesome

There are 425 different bird species that live in Creve Coeur Park, a 2,145 acre park that contains a 325 acre lake and a large wetlands area and is home to countless other animals. It’s a peaceful place where area residents can come to escape the strip mall that is Creve Coeur and instead look at a bird or two while contemplating the beauty of nature…but f*ck all that sh*t! Lets put a zip line up in that bitch! [Read More]

The Best Mardi Gras YouTube Finds for 2013

Each year we like to scour YouTube and find the best uploads of drunkenness because we know you kids love the social media these days (“social media” is a fancy term for sexting and comparing who go the most wasted without having to be in the same room. We live in the future!). #5 – Guy Falls During Parade (by mdfoley75) We’re guessing that this guy wasn’t even drunk, which is why it’s at #5…but we’re totally sure it’s funny, so it made the list. [Read More]

Mardi Gras Was a Blast

On Friday we spread the link of our two year old pre-Mardi Gras coverage entitled: “Dos and Don’ts for you Mardi Gras Weekend” It’s a classic, which is kinda why we stopped covering Mardi Gras, but this year we slipped up. While we thought somethings were obvious, we should have added a new “Don’t”. Specifically: “Don’t: Point Your Gun at Police Officers.” “I was never scared, but I was just shocked that I had just seen that, with as many shots and as much blood as there was,” he said. [Read More]

We Won Another RFT Web Award

Thanks to the Riverfront Times for once again honoring us with a RFT Web Award. We even showed up to the award show, making a rare public appearance to meet with the fans and lean on a wall while tweeting jokes that never did get to show up on the big Twitter wall thing they had. Damn censors. The show was quite the spectacle. RFT’s Chad Garrison really took to the role of host (think James Franco at the Oscars) which only turned out to the be pre-show, as the impromptu freaky dance party that followed the awards portion really stole the show, and cost us a few grand in therapy ones those memories un-repress themselves in 10 years. [Read More]

Chuck Berry Given Lifetime Achievement Award, Still Won’t Take Off That Stupid Hat

The local legend, and 1st mate on the SS Crazy Old Man, Chuck Berry was given a lifetime achievement award by the St. Louis Arts and Education Council Monday at the Chase Park Plaza Hotel. …and yes, he was wearing that damn captain’s hat. Berry is one of the pioneers of rock `n’ roll with a string of hits that included “Maybellene, “Sweet Little Sixteen” and “Johnny B. Goode.” He still performs every month at Blueberry Hill in the St. [Read More]

You Should Definitely Eat This Strangers Bacon

This guy has some bacon, but he doesn’t like bacon, so instead of just returning the bacon from where it came from or throwing away the bacon, he decided the only option was to put it on Craigslist. Why didn’t he just give it to a friend…oh never mind. Starting to feel a little bit sorry for lonely bacon Cragistlist guy. Free bacon, I just don’t like bacon, serious inquires only, drop a text at ****** [Read More]

Hello?! Is Anyone Out There?

Guys? Hello?! Did the apocalypse happen? Honestly, we don’t know because there’s been a row of broken busted-ass buildings outside our bedroom window for a long time now, and so it’s pretty hard to tell if the world ended, or we’re just still looking at the same “historical landmarks” we always see. Someone call San Francisco and ask if things look different over there because we just aren’t sure in St. [Read More]

St. Louis Halloween Costume Ideas, 2012 Edition

It snuck up on us this year, but here we are, Halloween. Do you have a costume? No?! Well don’t worry. We got your back, like we have the past few years (2011, 2010, 2009): 1. The Cardinals Show up to the party and be pretty great for a few hours and then just fall on your face. Get up and go back to being good until right at the end of the night where you’ll need to start coughing and continually choking until someone comes up and asks you to leave. [Read More]

St. Louis Highways Were Taken Over by Stunt Bikers, Only One Got Ran Over

If you were driving around this weekend and noticed a distinct rise in the amount of motorcyclists with a love of neon-type colors that the general population shunned by the mid-90s, then congratulations! You were part of the “Ride of the Century”! A huge group of motorcyclists rode through the St. Louis area on their annual controversial ride Saturday, as police kept a close eye. Police presence was visible but not heavy as the bikers gathered at midafternoon near the flood wall along the Mississippi River just south of the Gateway Arch for the 10th Streetfighterz Ride of the Century. [Read More]