The plans for the new Arch grounds are starting to take shape by the releasing of design photos, and explanations about how the new work will change the downtown layout. NextSTL has it covered:

Not a single local media story, not KSDK, not St. Louis Public Radio, not the Post-Dispatch, not the Beacon, no one included the detail that if the presented plan comes to fruition that Pine Street will no longer connect the city with the Arch grounds. [...] With Pine Street gone, visitors will find yet another dead end as they attempt to navigate their way to the Arch. The distance between accessible crossings (Washington Avenue to Chestnut Street) will reach more than 1,500 feet.

Good point. That’s definitely something that should be discussed more, and we would have totally put some crazy hard-core thought in to that except the picture of the Arch grounds design (above) caught our attention. What was it about this design that reminded of something? …it just has a certain feel to it. A work of art by chance? No, well maybe. It just seems so inviting yet occasionally unattainable, so familiar yet mysterious. Like it would be awesome to visit, and we’d totally love to play here longer but we gotta bust and run any second now…well we’ve been drinking so maybe I can stay a little longer lets just take it slow. Ah of course!

The Arch grounds are a big ole vagina.

…but there’s still a little bit we can’t seem to place…

…and there you go! Duh.

via NextSTL

A teenage girl sneaks her boyfriend in to her house only to be caught by her mom the next day! We’ll tell you about that unbelievable, totally newsworthy item, plus 21 minutes devoted to weather and a five min sportscast consisting of “Remember a little while ago when the Cardinals won the World Series? …that was awesome.” all coming up next on KMOV Channel 4 News!

News 4 Never Stops Watching Out For You…but today watching out for you was crazy boring. So if you want something better on tomorrow night’s news, do us a favor and shoot someone, get busted for something or do something up-lifting like get real fat and then run a marathon for kittens. Otherwise, reporting Dawson’s Creek story-lines as news is the best you’re gonna get.

The new slogan feels a tad long, but we’re loving the honesty.

Officer Rick Eckhard with the St. Louis County Police Department said the incident happened in the 17,000 block of Windsor Crest Boulevard.  According to reports, the mother went into the daughter’s room to retrieve a hamper from a closet.  When the mother opened the closet doors, a young man was inside.

Officer Eckhard said the boy had been at the home overnight and was hiding in the closet.  The daughter had already left for school.  Police arrived on the scene and arrested the young man.  The boy’s age is unknown and there is no word if he will be charged with anything.

Um…ok. Our guess is that was a 25% chance of a high-five going down in that squad car after they turned the corner and a 87% chance of giggling while the officer filled out the report. Other than that, there’s not much else going on here. What are we supposed to do with this?! Is there nothing else going on in this city!?!?

We hate for you to have to leave early though, so just stare at this until you think you’ve used up enough time on the site for today:

via KMOV

Jermaine Johnson is really bad at relationships and we have no idea if eharmony scores go in to the negative ranges (or even if they have scores) but if anyone could do it, it’s Jermaine.

Jermaine was charged today on four new counts of felony, but we’ll get to that in a second. First here’s what he’s already done. The short version is: He broke in to his girlfriend’s house, poured lighter fluid on her and threatened to light a match while he raped her.

Johnson poured barbecue starter fluid on the woman, 38, and threatened her with a fireplace lighter throughout the attack, which lasted for several hours, according to court documents.

She told police Johnson choked her, raped her and broke the screens on her computer monitor and flat screen television during the attack. He also physically restrained her and threatened her, preventing her from leaving, according to court documents.

So what about those four new felony counts from today? Well the thing is, it might be worse than the “raping a chick while threatening to light her on fire”. Not possible you say? Well…

Jermaine Johnson, 26, of the 400 block of Meacham, was charged Monday in St. Louis Circuit Court on four counts of the felony. According to charges, Johnson never told a woman that he was intimate with between January 2009 to December 2011 that he was HIV positive, even though state health records show that he knew as early as 2006.

You are one huge piece of shit Jermaine.

All told Jermaine has netted himself countless felony charges, but maybe his biggest crime was simply loving too much. …the story didn’t say what exactly he loved too much though…oh wait, here it is: rape.

Anyway, long story short, Jermaine is currently single! If you’re one of those ladies that wants to change her troubled man this is pretty much the Everest of that kind of thing, and since he’s currently at large, (Oh did we forget to mention that this AIDS-carrying rapist is running free?) you’ve still got a chance. He probably just needs to be loved…really loved. We’d avoid romantic dinners by the fire though…or any and all sexual contact.

[Editor's Note: Jermaine Jackson pictured above because that's the only other Jermaine we are aware of.]

via STLToday

Poor Joe Buck (@buck on Twitter), he just can’t win. The St. Louis native is always a dick to your team.Which team? Your team. …No wait. Of the two teams that played in Sunday’s NFC championship game, which one did he hate specifically? The one that you liked.

Of course not everyone is team specific. Other’s just have career advice:

Laugh now, but a small part of you thought Buck heaped a little too much praise on Mike Napoli in the World Series didn’t you?!

A man was  shot in Wentzville’s St. Patrick’s church over the weekend and the police are ruling it as an accident, which is just so St. Charles County. Sure people get shot out there too, just like in the city, but out there it’s always “My bad! Junior’s still a learnin’ about the safety! He’ll master it by age 5 like his daddy!” rather than a 45 year old prostitute gunning down some crackhead trying to steal her stash.

According to reports, a trivia night fundraiser for a cancer patient was wrapping up with approximately 165 people left cleaning up, moving chairs and clearing the tables. ”As things were winding down some balloons were being popped and during the popping of the balloons there was a pop that was unrecognizable and there was a victim of a gunshot,” said Wentzville Police Chief Lisa Harrison.

Initially the police detained every attendee of the gathering that were still at the church, searching and questioning each one until roughly 3am. The police later decided the incident was an accident when the shooter came forward Sunday morning after seeing the news coverage. Seriously, he didn’t come forward because he shot a random bullet through a church hitting someone, but because he saw the news coverage. Even if you somehow weren’t aware that it hit anyone and instead just knew you can fired off a random shot, wouldn’t you come forward regardless to make sure you didn’t do something horrible like…well hit someone in the chest while they were attending a Saturday night church trivia night fundraiser for a cancer patient?!

The victim’s condition is unknown at the time of this writing (though hopefully he’s doing well) and more specifics about the case should be released later today after the St. Charles County Prosecutor’s office has time to go over the report and decide on charges. In the meantime, some people thought about doing a new trivia night for the guy that was shot at the last charity trivia night, but felt like it’s too soon right now because the questions and answers are still pretty fresh in everyone’s mind. Plus no one’s too wild about the location they used last time. They should try to find something even less likely to take a bullet in than a Catholic church for the next one…maybe something like a baby animal petting zoo, or an all cute asian baby orphanage.

via KMOV

One week later, and we think it’s safe to call the new redesign a winner with nothing but good vibes coming from all of you. Thanks! That being said we have made two note-worthy changes:

314-669-KTTY

We have a new “tip line” phone number: 314-669-K-T-T-Y We still have the contact form, but if you’d rather you can text or leave a message any tips or questions to that number. Like if you were out one night and saw Rams quarterback Sam Bradford hitting on your girlfriend you’d take a picture, text it to us at 314-669-KTTY and then step in and say “You can have her for 500,000k.” He’s got the money and  you both know it’s not working.

A better way to catch up on stories you missed

One popular request has been to add next and previous story links on the pages so you can flip through the ones you missed without having to go back to the homepage. As of right now, this feature is now live at the bottom of every post page, just above the comments.

Thanks again for enjoying the site and it’s new redesign!