If You Live in St. Louis, You're Already Dead

If You Live in St. Louis, You're Already Dead

So I popped on to KSDK.com today. I just had a totally random thought to check in on how things are going in St. Louis, and I knew I didn’t want to deal with the pop-up ad, video autoplay hellscape that is STLToday’s business model violently dying like when they put the T2000 in the molten steel at the end of “Terminator 2: Judgement Day”.

Where was I? Oh, yes. I loaded up KSDK.com and I found that you’re all dead. All of you. Dead dead dead…except the intern who posts stuff to KSDK.com, but does that count as life?

A screenshot of ksdk where nearly every story is about death.

Woof. Guys. What’s going on? A couple of more days like this and Chicago’s going to come limping up to you and say “Are you OK? You look like hell.”

Let’s scroll down to below the fold where they have the happy news.

A screenshot of ksdk where there are more death stories

This is a lot guys.

Like for reals a lot.

Surely someone has learned to adapt and survive in this harsh modern St. Louis climate! Please, KSDK let me know that someone is alive over there! Someone who can take over and repopulate the land once the last two combatants are finshing shooting each other!

Former KMOX traffic reporter turns 99

It’s not exactly what I was looking for, but I’ll tell you this: Getting to 99 really means something based on what I’m seeing here.

Good luck to whomever else is left! Maybe someone should go check in on Sue.