“Jesus, he scares the hell out of you”

That’s what was on some Kirkwood Middle Schooler’s shirt the other day, and we can sit down some time over General Mills flavored coffee to discuss the reverse cleverness of that shirt and how it’s, frankly, a rare shot of honesty to claim that Jesus is scaring you in to doing good things, but that is for another day. Today we’re talking about how Kirkwood Middle School wouldn’t let Michelle Ramirez wear that shirt to class. …because it said “hell” right? …or maybe “Jesus”? Not exactly.

Remember yesterday when we told you about the guy that really really wanted to get in that Denny’s on Hampton Sunday and ended up getting shot in the leg by the police? His mugshot was released after being charged with 1st Degree Property Damage and a count of Attempted Assult on a Law Enforcement Officer.

Turns out that dude was Jesus.

This changes everything. First off that officer shot Jesus, so he’s got to deal with that. Not sure how many Hail Marys something like that is, but it’s got to be over seven. Secondly lets let Jesus out of jail and give him the Denny’s he wanted. All Jesus wanted was a Root ‘n Tootie Fresh and Fruity after a hard New Years Eve protecting the city limits from the dangerous storm that damaged all the surrounding counties who, logic would then dictate, hate Jesus. Oh, well he was going to protect the whole city limits but he bent over to pick up a nickel and North St. Louis got a little nicked.  “Who would notice?” he thought.

The South City Hope Lutheran School‘s nativity scene was stolen recently in the beginning of a crime wave that can only escalate to other honorable crimes such as throwing puppies against brick walls, kicking old lady’s in the neck and talking the whole time through the Yogi Bear movie.

The theft happened over the weekend. Nearly 30 figures were painted and added to the display. Kindergartners dedicated parts of this to honor someone special. All that’s left are the figures surrounding what used to be a nativity scene.

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Kurt Warner won a Super Bowl for the Rams and a probable Disney movie with his ultimate St. Louis scrappy life story. We don’t remember all the details since no one mentioned it much…pretty sure it had something to do with stocking shelves at HyVee, football and praying to Jesus/Cthulhu that Trent Green would get hurt (totally worked!). Eh. Not important. The important thing is that he is a Rams legend and not matter how many random stops he did along down the final path to retirement, he will always be a Ram. Right Kurt?!

The Jews killed Jesus and now Jesus killed classical music in St. Louis. When will man’s violent march stop?!

99.1 switched from one of the only 16 classical stations to christian rock 99.1 JoyFM today.

Joking aside (for just a moment though) people are really either pissed or over-“joy”ed. There seems to be no middle ground…well I guess some, since we really don’t care that much.

Reports on the station after it’s first few hours of life are exactly as you would think: If you like Christian Rock, you love it. Seems like everyone should have seen that coming, but there’s a lot of surprise out there that makes us think otherwise.