Turns Out the Police Shot Jesus at Denny’s the Other Day

Remember yesterday when we told you about the guy that really really wanted to get in that Denny’s on Hampton Sunday and ended up getting shot in the leg by the police? His mugshot was released after being charged with 1st Degree Property Damage and a count of Attempted Assult on a Law Enforcement Officer.

Turns out that dude was Jesus.

This changes everything. First off that officer shot Jesus, so he’s got to deal with that. Not sure how many Hail Marys something like that is, but it’s got to be over seven. Secondly lets let Jesus out of jail and give him the Denny’s he wanted. All Jesus wanted was a Root ‘n Tootie Fresh and Fruity after a hard New Years Eve protecting the city limits from the dangerous storm that damaged all the surrounding counties who, logic would then dictate, hate Jesus. Oh, well he was going to protect the whole city limits but he bent over to pick up a nickel and North St. Louis got a little nicked.  “Who would notice?” he thought.