That Poor Fire Department Lost Phone Service and City Math is Hard

The Kinloch Fire Department’s economic struggles continue. Blaming it’s troubles on low property tax revenues and falling six months behind on it’s phone bill, the service to it’s non-emergency line has been cut, allowing only 911 calls to go through…which is a bummer because the only people that call that line are all needy and crap.

Back in November, we floated the idea of a big dance show with costumes and the whole deal to raise the money, but none of you showed up for the first practice! We would have been there, but we were totally busy and it was rainy that day.

We have a totally awesome new idea though: Bake sale!

Bake like a thousand cookies and charge $5 bucks a piece which would be…um. Screw it, just make one really big cookie and sell it for whatever you need. Sounds much easier. We’re trying to brush up on our math with this St. Louis City school district math book we found, but all the examples in here don’t make any sense to us. How many ounces are in a “brick of cocaine” anyway? A lot of the questions in here seem to depend on us knowing that. Also, why would Johnny “pull da trigger” at the “foo who stepped to us” 3 more times if Stevie already shot him 5 times? Not only that, but you’d think the answer would be 8 total bullets in the guy, but the key says the answer is only 5 because “the gun was a revolver and one shot was a through-and-through.” We were really confused until we found the joint pressed between appendix D and E, now we don’t care and just want to chill at home all day with our “moms”.

via KMOV

photo credit: RFT