Kirkwood Middle School Doesn’t Like Hell…or Jesus…Maybe Both

“Jesus, he scares the hell out of you”

That’s what was on some Kirkwood Middle Schooler’s shirt the other day, and we can sit down some time over General Mills flavored coffee to discuss the reverse cleverness of that shirt and how it’s, frankly, a rare shot of honesty to claim that Jesus is scaring you in to doing good things, but that is for another day. Today we’re talking about how Kirkwood Middle School wouldn’t let Michelle Ramirez wear that shirt to class. …because it said “hell” right? …or maybe “Jesus”? Not exactly.

The school’s dress code policy says this is a slang use of the word “HELL” and wants to ban it. “Outside the school environment, it might be fine.” Kirkwood School District Community Relations Director Ginger Fletcher said, “But anything within the school that is inappropriate, vulgar use of language might create a disruption in the school, we’ll ask the student to modify the garment.”

To be clear, it’s not the fact that the shirt says the word “hell” that is violating the school’s rule, it’s that the shirt is using the slang version of the word “hell”. So just to be super clear: “Jesus, the scares the hell out of you” is no good..but “Jesus, this school is worse than hell.” or “Jesus can’t save you from going to hell because you’re one of those people that thinks wearing little fedoras is a cute look.” are perfectly acceptable.

Michelle was taken out of her classes and did her schoolwork elsewhere due to her refusal to change the shirt. Christina [Michelle’s mother] disagrees with the school’s view of the meaning of the word in question on the shirt. “There’s more emphasis on the word “HELL”, yes,” Chirstina admits, “but it’s in all CAPS. It’s a place. It’s not… She’s not using it as a slang. So if she’s not using it as a slang, then the shirt should be ok.”

“I don’t think it’s a slang word because it’s all capitalized,” Michelle added, “and even though the “Hell” is a different color, that it still mean the same thing: That he does scare the hell out of you, that you’re not letting the devil in.”

You know Fox2, you can feel free to edit down the stammering quotes from your interviewees.

Allow us to settle this…

To the school: You’re rule is retarded and doesn’t make a lot of sense. It’s gotta be rough being held to rules with no grey area like this because whoever’s in charge doesn’t think you can handling making decisions like that based on your own judgment. Johnny can’t read, but at least he knows when you can and can’t use the word hell in the public school system! He’ll be sure to use it correctly when he saying “Wow, I went through hell yanking off all those dudes to get enough money to buy this meth.” Feel free to put that on a shirt if you want, it’s all legal according to the hell usage guidelines!

To the little broad: Shut up and don’t wear the shirt to school anymore. That’s the rules. It doesn’t matter if you don’t agree and its not like you got your ass beat for it, so just don’t wear the shirt. If every rule a kid deemed “unfair” got to be haggled over in the media Fox2 wouldn’t have any time to post a story two days late with far less detail on a national news item already covered better by other people. Also, lets just nip this “edgy religious kid” thing in the bud right now: It’s lame, and one day in college this post is going to come up under a Google search for your name and the guy you like is going to make fun of you. If you want to be religious, that’s totally cool, but lets not pretend there is such a thing as “punk jesus” where you rock shirts that have the word “hell” on them in spray paint font and you go hang out with your youth group at various “praise-fests” with a bunch of other douche-bags with tats and ear stretching’s for Jesus. as if somewhere along the way he said, “I hope kids get to be 13 and decide to look like a bunch of green-haired posers because of me.” We’re pretty sure you’re confusing Jesus with Green Day.

via Fox2

Oh hey look: You can buy your own version of the stupid shirt on E-Bay! Go internet!