Mizzou Study: Fat Kids Can’t Do Math

According to a study done by University of Missouri, the fatter your kid is, the crappier they are at math. 2 + 2 = “Do we have chips still?” “The findings illustrate the complex relationships among children’s weight, social and emotional well-being, academics and time,” said Sara Gable, associate professor in the MU Department of Nutrition and Exercise Physiology, who led the study. The study followed over six thousand kids from kindergarten to fifth grade, getting info from their families, school, physicals and tests along the way. [Read More]

Your Alton Tax Dollars at Work!

It took three firefighters to disloge this large woman and her motorized wheelchair from the mud when she tried to take her ass through a sloppy field while chasing her dog. The only that would make this photo of three trained firemen lifting her ass out of her chair so they can also carry that to dry land any more amazing would be an orphanage burning down in the background. [Read More]

St. Louis Native Son, John Goodman 1/8th the Man He Used to Be

Despite what you may have heard from Google (see below) John Goodman, native St. Louisan, isn’t dead. He’s just a hell of a lot skinnier than he was. Bam:What is more shocking than Goodman in the tux, is what a disgusting blob he was. Sure, he’s always been a big boy, but my god. Freaking gross man. How does one even begin to know how to clean effectively under a bitch tit? [Read More]

Dumpy Bald Guy Robs Bank

You may think that bald tub pictured above is just another of the thousands of “fat guys in polo shirts” St. Louis has been collecting over the years, but you would be wrong. That guy is made of pure balls. You would have to be to waltz in to a bank and rob the place looking like Paul from Cheers(huh?), with nothing but a pursey-wallet-thing-but-definitely-nothing-a-man-shoudl -be-carrying-around thing in his hands. [Read More]

Fat Lady Takes Rascal Through Drive Through

Found on The Dirty, this photo submitted by one of their St. Louis readers really makes you feel proud to live in St. Louis doesn’t it?[ ]1 Not sure if she’s new to the whole fat person motorized vehicle thing, but you would think she’d be able to get a little closer to the curb there. Especially since we both know she’s not going to put out any effort when they hand the “food” out to her. [Read More]

Saint Louis, The Heartland of… Health?

Welcome to St. Louis, the nation’s 16th fittest state, as according to “Men’s Fitness” magazine. I just read the article announcing this list and yes, I was proud that my city was listed in the top 25. But you know what my knee jerk reaction was? “Really? That doesn’t seem right!” I mean, come on. We’re the city that gave the world Budweiser… and John Goodman. Our city newscasters count Jeff Bernthal and Rich Gould among their number. [Read More]