Dumpy Bald Guy Robs Bank

You may think that bald tub pictured above is just another of the thousands of “fat guys in polo shirts” St. Louis has been collecting over the years, but you would be wrong.

That guy is made of pure balls.

You would have to be to waltz in to a bank and rob the place looking like Paul from Cheers (huh?), with nothing but a pursey-wallet-thing-but-definitely-nothing-a-man-shoudl -be-carrying-around thing in his hands.

The FBI and St. Louis County Police are asking for the public’s help in finding a man who robbed Regions Bank Tuesday.

The suspect is described as a white male, bald and about 50-years old or older. Witnesses said the suspect was wearing glasses, a short-sleeve tan or gray polo shirt and black pants.

Ok, a fat, bald, middle-aged white guy in a polo shirt and dress pants. He can’t be hard to find. We’ll stake out all area Lowe’s and you keep and eye on everywhere in St. Charles County.

Good to see though that now the whities have a equivalent to the bastardly generic “skinny black guy in a hoodie” that keeps committing all those crimes.

via Globe Democrat