Tonight, 52 lovely contestants will be competing for the crown of “Miss America 2009” and I, for one, cannot wait. The event is broadcast live and I admit it – I don’t watch for the beautiful dresses or the always eloquent Q&A period. No, every year, I find myself holding my breath, half-hoping that one of the girls will fall flat on her face, a la Rachael Smith at the 2007 Miss Universe Pageant. Or in the grand tradition of Chrystle Stewart, who did the exact same thing in 2008. (This is the best we can do for the good old US of A? I’m so proud!) For those that missed it, I have included a clip of the horror below:

“Ugly Friend” (noun):

the friend of the hot girl who is never chosen first. She is always left alone and is very angry about it. When given the choice between the 2 the guys always chose the prettier friend and leave the ugly big nosed one out of the cold.   

You literally have to beg guys to touch the girl to give her a pity screw. 

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As found on stlouis.Craiglist.org [ Direct Link ]:

What’s the worst thing ever? A FAT FEMALE BOSS

These bitches see a hot young girl like myself walk into their office and suddenly they can’t remember how to conduct a civil interview.

The first fat bitch comes in with a food stain on her shirt. Totally unprofessional. She didn’t give a shit about the interview so I didnt either. The next one (her boss) also old, fat and nasty – i might as well have walked out of the room before the thing even started. I hope you big, fat, cowardly wastes of space on this earth get diabetes from your heaviness and cancer from your cigarettes. you both reaked of them!!

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  What the hell was going on at F15teen this weekend?  <a href="http://pictures.stldrunks.com/thumbnails.php?album=596&page=1">STLDrunks.com</a> has the photos above and plenty more, but I have no idea what the deal was.  At the surface, it seems like a regular bikini content, but some of these picture lead me to believe otherwise&#8230;
</p>

<p>
  Was anyone there?
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