The Belleville police department’s switch board was lighting up yesterday, all from one woman who just really needed her beer back. Emergencies are subjective!

Police say 36-year-old Shannon White dialed 911 several times on Saturday around 8:30 p.m. to complain her boyfriend would not allow her to drink more beer.

“Tonight he took away my beer and I want to drink some beer, and he took away my beer,” White said on one of the calls.

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In honor of the 10th anniversary of 9/11, Missouri Governor Jay Nixon proclaimed that you should let all people in uniform cut in front of you in line…but just like for one week. After that you and you alone will be first in line for the new issue of Jugs.

Nixon has proclaimed this week as “Put the Uniform First Week” in Missouri. He says it’s intended to show respect to people who wear uniforms as police officers, firefighters, emergency responders and military personnel.

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In case you forgot the way to get help via the phone that most of you grew up ingrained in your minds, Mayor Slay is here to help with a perfectly timed tweet reminding you all about 911 for all your Snowpocalypse related emergencies.

Where the hell was this kind of helpful tidbit in November when the city seems to be in the midst of a race against 2009’s death toll? Oh well…ok, so if you report those kind of emergencies it makes us look bad (by “bad” we mean “worst than Detroit”) so just try to use 911 for weather stuff and call…um…912 we guess…for all your “I’m got lost going to Crown Candy and people keep shooting at me” kinda emergencies. Also, if you were to then feel yourself dying, could you try to take a taxi out to St. Charles County? The city will reimburse you and really appreciate it.