east st. louis

Manhole covers are the lastest thing to go missing in East St. Louis following previously missing items like dignity, justice and the laughter of children. More than 30 manhole covers have gone missing in East St. Louis in the past few months. Their value at metal scrap yards have made them a hot commodity. But the holes they’re leaving behind are creating several issues. The city is trying to combat the problem by installing locking covers and installing security cameras, but those solutions are too late for the several problems the open sewer hole are causing as earlier this week, an 11-year old boy fell down an open sewer when the hole was covered in snow. [Read More]

After 2 shootings, an armed robbery, and a car chase than ended in him rolling his car in to the woods, the fiendish plot of the greatest criminal mind since Lex Luther came to an end. If you were thinking about taking over the world by getting buck naked and shooting and ramdon people, think again! Stick to the basics: Death rays or creating your own Justin Bieber to infect the minds of the young with lesbian hair and horrible music. [Read More]

Every week over at Deadspin, John Salley spins a yarn, weaving a picture of his old playing days. Last Fridays’ story took place in the butthole of the metro area…a butthole that, like real buttholes, some enjoy visiting and that’s great, but the fact remains, normally it’s a shit factory. I went to this nasty strip club with the Torry Brothers one time in East St. Louis. I don’t even think white people are even allowed in this place. [Read More]

No doubt you’ve heard of the brutal murder scene discovered in East St. Louis recently. No not that one, the other one. No, the more brutal one. …ok, it was the one where a man, Zachary Irvin, was dismembered and burned to death. According to STLToday: Irvin’s dismembered body was found burning on top of a metal landscaping cart nearby. Evidence led investigators to the large warehouse along Front Street, where they found three rooms with blood-spattered floors and walls. [Read More]

We all know East St. Louis sucks. Really sucks. Like, “Why can’t you just call yourself ‘West Chicago’?” sucks. But do you know why? Not just the shootings and the hookers, but why there are shootings and hooker? …and why most eastern parts of other towns suck the same way, albeit, much less? Take it away science! The reason for this is that in much of the northern hemisphere, the prevailing winds are westerlies – blowing from west to east. [Read More]

Alvin Parks ran for and won the titles of Mayor and Liquor Commissioner of that turd of a city, our neighbors to the east that piggy-backs off of our name, East St. Louis. Throughout the whole process however, Parks never did realize that East St. Louis is, in fact, a pit of booze, drugs, crime and despair. All of a sudden Parks is “fed up” with the situation in East St. [Read More]