Why So Serious? Police Catch World’s Greatest Criminal Mind in East St. Louis

At 6am Tuesday morning, East St. Louis police where called to a report of shots fired. A woman had been shot once in the leg and grazed in the back. During that call, police received another report from a couple driving down 15th street that say there were fired at, but the assailant missed. Shortly after that, a garbage truck driver reported that a man pulled a gun and ordered his wallet been handed over. The driver, who is a certified bad-ass, managed to get the gun away from “Dr. No (clothes)” but in the processes, our assailant was able to escape.

He just left for a second though. He soon came back...to ask for his gun returned! See it wasn’t his gun, and he didn’t want to be that guy who borrows a gun, goes on a standard crazy shooting spree and then up and loses is. So if he could just get that back, it would be a huge favor. …ok, what about your wallet? Can he at least get that. Really only seems fair now that you have the gun. Crap the cops!

The police finally caught up to our boy which lead to a chase in a purple convertible PT cruiser, naturally, and ended when he flipped his Super Villain car in to the woods, running from the scene of the wreck. Police nabed hin a short time later.

Say what you want about his execution, but he borrowed a gun, stripped down, shot at random people, lost the gun, asked for the gun back, and then escaped in a purple convertible PT Cruiser. Awesome. If the KMOV story would have said that he recently was sprung from prison by an army of clowns led by a Harlequin, we would have totally believed them.