Stan Kroenke Looks Like the New Rams Owner

It’s been a long road for Stan Kroenke to get finally own the worst team in the NFL, but it looks like he might finally get the team. First there was the sudden claim of the team from Shahid Khan, then the NFL rules he had to dodge about cross-city ownership, and after all that, he had to be all like “Dude. I don’t have the money, but I promise I will have it soon. [Read More]

Kroenke Tries Putting the Rams on Layaway

“You know what? Screw it! I’m going to buy them!” “I think that’s against the rules.” “Nah. I can get around them.” “Ok, so you are serious? Because someone already said that they wanted to buy them.” “Screw that guy, I’m going to buy them.” “Eh…I guess we can change the rules…” “Yeah, change them.” “Good point. Ok, we’ll change them. That will be $600 Million dollars please.” “I only have half. [Read More]

Top 10 Things We Wish Stan Kroenke Would Step in and Buy

Stan Kroenke shocked everyone by jumping in at the last second to make a play for 100% ownership of the St. Louis Rams. That’s fine and all, but the Rams had a buyer already. Their’s way better stuff for Kroenke to drop his cash on… Arby’s. Who doesn’t love Arby’s? A soccer team. 4,000 pairs of white socks. Never buy socks again. Nickelback. So they’ll never play again. 1 lion, 1 gorilla, 1 cage, tons of seats. [Read More]

Stan Kroenke Was All Like POW and Khan Was All Like WHAT?! Over Last Minute Rams Bid

In a move that can be describe no other way than “utter badassery” current minority owner of the Rams and owner of the Denver Nuggets, Colorado Avalanche and some “Futbol” team you don’t care about, decided at the last possible second that “Yup, totally buying the Rams too.” “We are pleased to announce that we have exercised our right to purchase the remaining interest in the St. Louis Rams football team under the terms of our Partnership Agreement,” Kroenke said in a statement. [Read More]