St. Louis Youths, Stop Barking at People. You Look F*cking Retarded.

Its happened to us before and we’ve heard this more than a few times, so congratulations, its a pattern now St. Louis: We have retarded kids running around barking at people.

Oh we’re sorry, are you not familiar? Let us share how this usually goes…

Us: Hey! You made it.

Them: Yeah, no problems…well we got barked at, but other than that.

Us: What?

Them: We were driving down the street and some guy barked at us while waiting at a stoplight.

Us: What do you mean you were “barked at”?

Them: …we were barked at. Ruff ruff! Some guy leaded out his window and barked at us. Really weird.

The description for the barkers is always, and sadly, the same: 3 or 4 black guys in a car. Same goes for the barkees: 2 – 4 white people in a car. Settle down you alarmists out there…that’s the facts, plain and simple.

Seriously, barking at people?! What are these people thinking?

Our guess? I seems like the kids are trying to scare someone or get a rise out of their target, and frankly most of the time they probably succeed. But barking? Here’s a tip, if you want to scare someone barking’s not the way. The idea behind getting a rise out of someone is to surprise them, if you surprise them with how fucking retarded you are, that’s not really the point. If the goal is to try to get a rise out of a certain race, which is how it comes off, then congratulations, you’re a dirty racist. Good work. Way to be progressive. Fuck you. You’re not Dave Chappelle making some interesting and funny comment on race relations, you’re just making it look like everyone St. Louis is overrun by morons…which to be fair, isn’t far off, but we’re trying to keep this crap a secret and you’re blowing it.

There can’t be that many “barkers” in town, but it has to stop. This kind of shit is not helping any of the following issues with St. Louis:

  1. People not wanting to visit the city.

  2. The general belief that if you grew up in the city’s school district you are clinically retarded, no matter how smart you started out.

  3. Lingering racial stress.

Lets get together St. Louis and stop barking at random people and while we’re at it stop giving in what “barkers” are left roaming the streets. Here’s what we did when we were barked at a few months ago: Dude walked past us on the sidewalk and we made eye contact, but before I could do the traditional head-nod of “I don’t know you, you don’t know me, but hey, hope things are going well for you.” he leans forward and barked in my face.  We didn’t even blink as he walked past. See, he didn’t realize it, but we’ve seen a black person before him and were unafraid, just like if a white guy barked in our face…same thing.

…now if a Puerto Rican barked in our face, we would have probably wet ourselves, but a black guy? Come on. That’s just silly.

Editor’s Note: DMX picture above because we think he started this some how. To be clear DMX is now a nobody filming his Behind the Music while being one of the thousands of washed up stars that found Jesus a starting a ministry. Congrats DMX, you are now in the same category as Daniel Baldwin!